Vienna 2 - Armies of the East 0
Huge brawl, circa 1529.
120 000 troops under Suleiman The Magnificent marched up the banks of the Danube and towards Austria's capital. The Ottoman Empire had just spent ten years conquering the Balkans and was hungry for more. The troops were the world's greatest bad asses; trained, brutal, Janissaries, some dubiously equipped with camels. A millenium of European history hung, waiting to turn. Canons were fired, city walls shook.
They got dysentery, went home.
Tried again 150 years later - got dysentery, went home...
Blood and shit left in the Danubian mud.
If you live in the West, don't try to conquer Moscow... Really.
If you live in the East, don't try to conquer Vienna. Just don't.