All my good nodes are being downvoted when I'm not looking. Worse yet, the editors are nuking everything in sight! I'll be lucky if my user account is still here by tomorrow. A member of the EDC accidently blurted in the Chatterbox the other day that he had finished the random user nuking script. What does this mean? Will I be next?

Oh god, oh god, oh god, I've said too much.

Hear me out. Leap to conclusions with me. First the EDC lets it slip that they're randomly nuking users, and then we get an announcement in the Everything Daily Report concerning The Power Structure of Everything 2. Sounds to me like someone's doing some major spin doctoring.

So this Power Structure thing says that editors only have the power to cool or kill, right? WRONG! The editors are simply the bottom tier of a vast conspiracy that goes all the way up to the EDC, which isn't a development company at all, but a bizzare cult with its own gods! Now that the veil is lifted, do you understand?

You see, back in the wild days of Everything, there were no controls. Noders noded with wreckless abandon, and turf wars raged. The EDC was losing control of its beloved pet, so they developed the nicer looking, but ultimately restricting, Everything2. Despite some radical changes, there were few protests because Everything2 was -- overall -- bigger, faster, stronger, and easier on the eyes. In short, we exchanged our freedom for eye candy!

Now Everything works on a system of rewards that ultimately silence the renegade voices. The voting/experience system is set up to strengthen the EDC's hold by making "inadequate" write-ups moot. Ever notice how difficult it is to find any coherent help nodes? This is a deliberate measure taken to deter new users from gaining a foothold and getting closer to the conspiracy!

What is the dark purpose of the Everything Conspiracy? Unknown, but you can be sure that every god and editor listed at the end of the Power Structure of Everything2 memo is a card carrying member.

What can we do to stop them? Sadly, nothing. Every voice will be silenced, every dissident faction nuked. The best we can hope for is a scission within the internal power structure. The revolution is at hand, brothers and sisters. All we need is patience. We have the numbers. We have the knowledge. Now we just need the strength.

If this node gets nuked, then we know it's all true! If you're reading this and you're not part of the conspiracy, then you've got to do everything in your power to bring the light to the unilluminated! They cannot silence us! They will not silence us!

Editor's Note: User Mr. Hotel fell down the stairs today and won't be noding for awhile. He's fine, don't call or write or anything. He's fine...

Log in or register to write something here or to contact authors.