past lives disclaimer
The
flames didn't take my
soul, not
quite. But they tried. Oh they
tried. And where the
flames failed, the
years after of
wandering and
searching so so nearly
won.
We'd not been together
long,
that time. two, three years? We were just
starting out, establishing our
household. I think we were about
24,
26. definitely no
older maybe a year or two
younger. You worked, for some reason i believe for a
courier service, or a
law firm. I don't remember that clearly. I was, for
once, calm,
subdued, even taking the rare role of
housewife I usually avoid. No
healer this time, nor
warrior. No abilities, really then either, fully
latent. Nothing "
special", merely a
person. We weren't
rich, we just
were. Not dirt poor, just barely
comfortable. We weren't
rich, or
powerful, or
high class, or
important. We just
were, and were
quietly. A nice
change for once.
we were supposed to have both
lived, things were supposed to have
gone on and rolled
together along the years. but one of those
miniscule random (and
common) tiny things that just... merely...
break. there are thousands of them every day. and people usually don't
notice. but we noticed
this one, though, because it just happened to happened to hit
us.
you were out running
errands for your
job. i left the house to go to the
bakers to buy
bread. nothing at all strange. i did this two, three times a
week. had for
some time. i did this
all the time. but this
once, it was different.
i
had the damn
bread, and was walking home, through the
alleyways of the
city. i think i was just
wandering, to look
around and enjoy the
day and not return
home immediately, for you were not
there then, there was nothing to
go home to that couldn't wait an hour while i
lived. i wandered into an
alley... i think not looking, gazing at the
sky. or maybe i went to
investigate something i saw or heard. i don't know. i don't remember it
that clearly.
but there was a
noise, or something. i turned
around. and saw back, at the end of the
alley, far away,
flames. moving towards me.
quickly. and there was no way
out save thru the
fire. i don't to this day know what
caused it. an
explosion, maybe, or just some
freak fire. i know it wasn't the great
chicago fire, although that was my
first instinct. it was nothing that
large or
important or
historically sound. it was something
small, it touched maybe a
dozen people at the most... it's just that i was one of the
twelve.
but in one of those
painfully lucid moments that so often come when one
knows their own
mortality and knows they face their own
death in that
hour... i knew i would
die. there was no way
out. i was
trapped and i knew it. and i knew there was no point to
fight. in that
terrible lucidity, i found, as many people do as they
die, the tiny
latent abilities i'd never
seen. i tried with all my
soul to tell you,
will you to feel my words. i tried to say "i'm not
coming back. i'm dying. it's not my
choice. i'm
trapped. i'm sorry. i'm
sorry." i tried to say "i ... i am
happy you are not here,
suffering as
well. i am happy you at least will
live." i tried to say "i will be
back, i will
find you again, somehow, someday. i
promise i will find you." and i tried to say "
i love you. i love you
always." and... i think... i think, i
pray, you
heard me.
i didn't
fight the flames, there is no point in
fighting death when it is
sure. so i merely
stood there, saying i
loved you, until i could not stand. then i sat until i could not
sit. then i
collapsed and
lay and waited. and then...
and
then...
then,
i lost you.
my own personal time capsule of lives