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This has to be the coolest thing I own.

Released in 1998 by Radica Games, Stealth Assault was one of four of Radica's new line of "virtual reality" games. It wasn't quite VR, though. If anything, it was more like those small LCD handheld games, but with a rather large difference: you put your face in it. Maybe not the whole face, but the part of the face where the eyeballs are.

This virtual reality sensation has to come in somewhere, and it might as well be in the controls. There's buttons on it for fire, change weapon, new game, sound, and so forth, but there's no movement controls. You see, to move, you have to tilt it with your head inside. Not really far, maybe 30 to 45 degrees. Tilt it sideways to turn. Tilt it up and down to go each way.

The gameplay is really simple: you're in a stealth fighter, and you have to destroy other planes out there. Why? I don't know. Neither does the manual. There's two kinds of weapons to do this with: the machine gun, and the missiles. The missiles lock on when the enemy is in the crosshairs for half a second, and one hit kills, and the machine gun fires a non-homing shot at whatever's in the crosshairs, five shots kill.

Of course, the enemy fighters go on the offense, too. If there's a missile locked on to you, launch a flare with the flare button, dive (or climb), and turn. Or any combination of the above, as long as it's fast. If they hit, you're gone.

Your fighter starts out at 10,000 feet. Don't scrape the ground. When in doubt, tilt up.

Even though this game is very fun, the size of the headhole basically bans anyone who wears glasses. You can take them off, but then you probably can't see that well. Oh, how I long for my old eyesight... or contacts.

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