Okay, so you were out late, and prolly drinking enough ethanol to strip paint. Being a kind person you think you will walk through the house with the lights off -- you never know when there will be somebody asleep on your couch. So, you do this stupid shuffling gait that you think, in your alcoholic state will protect you from stepping on something, like a sharp, half-chewed strip of rawhide that your dog has been gnawing at for the last month.

Suddenly you discover that the coffee table is not where it is supposed to be, owing to the roommates' game of Twister earlier that night. You always discover this with your toe. Never fails.

A stubbed toe is the most intense pain you can get, short of flaying the skin from your back, and swimming in a solution of lemon juice and razor blades.

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