While the G-Spot, or Gräfenberg spot, seems to get all of the attention, the A-Spot is another errogenous zone within a vagina that many people do not know even exists.
Before I discuss how to generate intense orgasms for your partner, safety comes first (pun intended).
- Decide on a safe word. Partners have different threshholds that can transition from intense pleasure to painful easily. Respect the safe word and stop manipulating the G- or A-spot when it is used.
- Discuss what will be happening if this is one of the first attempts at playing with the spots.
- Be vocal and have the recipient speak up about what feels good and what doesn't.
- The recipient should go to the bathroom before activity begins. You might as well do so too in case the session goes on for a long time.
- As mentioned in another node, make sure your hands are very clean (use soap and water, not just hand sanitizer).
- Make sure your nails are trimmed back. What tends to be forgotten is that freshly-trimmed nails have sharp edges. File down the edges, especially the points where the nails go into the cuticle.
- If you have long or French manicures, you can try using a nitrile glove plus extra care.
- The squishy insides of a vagina are extremely fragile and can tear or bleed easily, especially in the throes of passion. Be cognizant about how much pressure and how hard your fingertips are pressing into the soft tender flesh.
- All vaginas are unique. Where the spots are located can vary dramatically, but once you know where a particular spot is (A or G), you can go right to it with no issues or poking around.
- I've found some women who never had an orgasm due to clitoral or even G-spot manipulation can have amazing orgasms through A-spot manipulation. You will become their bestest friend for at least a while when you locate it.
- Many women can ejaculate or "squirt" when their orgasm comes. Be prepared for a lot of waterworks. There are conflicting studies about what is squirted but the chemical composition is different than urine. This is one reason to go to the bathroom before the activity starts because the bladder will be empty.
- The liquid that comes out will be coming from the skene's gland located on the anterior wall of the vagina around the lower end of the urethra. This is why many folks assume it is urine, as it comes from the same general location.
- Make sure if the recipient squirts that nothing important will be squirted upon such as your new Macbook Air or your college homework report for Ancient History. This includes expensive shoes, stockings, etc., plus make sure you're not wearing anything that can become damaged either from the forthcoming liquids or by them grabbing on and tearing your shirt during orgasms.
- Use water-based lubrication if needed, especially with nitrile gloves. If you precede with lots of foreplay and some clitoral stimulation they should be well lubricated naturally, but some generate more lubrication than others. Most water-based lubricants are not sticky and doesn't build up like petroleum-based lubes.
Personally, I have found the best way to induce intense orgasms is with them standing up with one foot on a stair. You sit next to them on the stair. Have them hold on to your shoulders. Use your unused arm to help support them and be ready to catch them if their legs collapse, which can happen the first time you use this technique. After you are both comfortable with how things go, you'll be better prepared how they can react in the future sessions. Try it with them lying down for other sessions.
Now, with them standing with one foot higher and their hands on your shoulders, with them well lubricated from foreplay or Astroglide, slowly work the index and middle finger of your dominant (and strongest) hand inside. Take your time, it's not a race. When you're ready, have your palm facing outward and slide your fingertips up the vaginal canal. You may find what feels like a rough patch about two inches in. Somewhere near or just after this region (about 1.5 to 2 inches in) is the G-spot, so feel free to rub your fingertips around in a circle to see if you can locate it. Also try using a "come here" motion with your fingertips, but just lightly press into the area. Don't do a full exaggerated beckoning motion. If you find the G-spot, excellent! Play in that area for a while and you may induce an orgasm. Remember exactly where that spot is for later sessions.
Now let's move on to the A-spot. Slide your two fingers in until they are inside as far as they will go. You will feel a stiffer protrusion that resembles a thick finger. This is the cervix and the uterus area. You can rub your fingers around it, although some think it feels "weird". Listen to your partner as you explore.
Now for the A-spot. Move your two fingers, held together like they were joined, and place the fingertips in front of the uterine projection and just behind the wall of her abdomen. Your fingertips should be where the uterus joins the wall. Like the G-spot, start making small beckoning motions with both fingertips and very slowly move your fingertips to explore the area within an inch of the top. Expand outward as needed. The A-spot can be lower down the inner wall of the abdomen or it may be a bit off-center.
You will know when you locate the spot when your partner says, "Oh!" or "Stop doing that, you make me want to pee." Remember going to the bathroom? There is nothing in the bladder. Talk and agree to continue on despite the "have to pee" sensation or STOP if your partner says they don't wish to continue. Remember, this is all about them. Once you know the approximate location make a mental note on exactly where it is for your partner so you can go right to it when needed in the future.
Continue making beckoning motions over that spot. She may start moving and you may be a little off. We're talking millimeters. Relocate the exact spot and they will let you know you're back on target. You can increase the pressure of your fingertips as they begin to approach orgasm, and also the frequency of your motion. When A-spot orgasms occur, they tend to be exaggerated. Your partner's knees may give out, so make sure your free arm is prepared to make sure they don't fall. They may squirt a little or a lot.
After the first orgasm, for the first session, stop if you need to and don't forget to cuddle and talk. As you do these sessions, understand that orgasms build upon each other like waves. The more sequential orgasms achieved the stronger they will be with most (but not all) partners.
Partners who say they are non-orgasmic tend to mean either by penetration or by clitoral manipulation. Most have not tried G- or A-spot techniques, so once they have a huge orgasm they may want to repeat the sensation...often. Feel free to indulge them. I've used A-spot techniques on self-professed non-orgasmic women and they discovered they could achieve orgasms and they could also squirt. The fastest orgasm I've induced was eight seconds from start to finish with a long-time partner, and the most was 87 during a three-day weekend (she counted). From my experience, A-spot techniques have resulted in intense orgasms with everyone I've used them on, but they may or may not work for you or your partner. The important thing is you're communicating and enjoying the experience together.
Now, note there is another smaller A-spot on the opposite (posterior) wall. Manipulating that spot may give them a sensation that they need to poop, but I've never had someone do so when they orgasmed. If they can have orgasms during anal sex then this may be a better spot to locate first using the same techniques, but do your best to locate all three spots for maximum pleasure of your loved one.
For partners, exploring each other should be a mutually enjoyable experience. Do your best and take your time to make them feel wonderful.