The Comedy of Errors
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Act II, Scene i:
A public place.
- [Enter ADRIANA and LUCIANA.]
- ADRIANA:
- Neither my husband nor the slave return'd
That in such haste I sent to seek his master!
Sure, Luciana, it is two o'clock.
- LUCIANA:
- Perhaps some merchant hath invited him,
And from the mart he's somewhere gone to dinner.
Good sister, let us dine, and never fret:
A man is master of his liberty;
Time is their master; and when they see time,
They'll go or come. If so, be patient, sister.
- ADRIANA:
- Why should their liberty than ours be more?
- LUCIANA:
- Because their business still lies out o' door.
- ADRIANA:
- Look when I serve him so, he takes it ill.
- LUCIANA:
- O, know he is the bridle of your will.
- ADRIANA:
- There's none but asses will be bridled so.
- LUCIANA:
- Why, headstrong liberty is lash'd with woe.
There's nothing situate under heaven's eye
But hath his bound in earth, in sea, in sky;
The beasts, the fishes, and the winged fowls,
Are their males' subjects, and at their controls:
Man, more divine, the masters of all these,
Lord of the wide world and wild wat'ry seas,
Indued with intellectual sense and souls
Of more pre-eminence than fish and fowls,
Are masters to their females, and their lords:
Then let your will attend on their accords.
- ADRIANA:
- This servitude makes you to keep unwed.
- LUCIANA:
- Not this, but troubles of the marriage-bed.
- ADRIANA:
- But, were you wedded, you would bear some sway.
- LUCIANA:
- Ere I learn love, I'll practise to obey.
- ADRIANA:
- How if your husband start some other where?
- LUCIANA:
- Till he come home again, I would forbear.
- ADRIANA:
- Patience unmov'd, no marvel though she pause:
They can be meek that have no other cause.
A wretched soul, bruis'd with adversity,
We bid be quiet when we hear it cry;
But were we burd'ned with like weight of pain,
As much, or more, we should ourselves complain:
So thou, that hast no unkind mate to grieve thee,
With urging helpless patience would relieve me:
But if thou live to see like right bereft,
This fool-begg'd patience in thee will be left.
- LUCIANA:
- Well, I will marry one day, but to try:—
Here comes your man, now is your husband nigh.
- [Enter DROMIO OF EPHESUS.]
- ADRIANA:
- Say, is your tardy master now at hand?
- DROMIO OF EPHESUS:
- Nay, he's at two hands with me, and that my two ears can witness.
- ADRIANA:
- Say, didst thou speak with him? know'st thou his mind?
- DROMIO OF EPHESUS:
- Ay, ay, he told his mind upon mine ear. Beshrew his hand, I
scarce could understand it.
- LUCIANA:
- Spake he so doubtfully thou could'st not feel his meaning?
- DROMIO OF EPHESUS:
- Nay, he struck so plainly I could too well feel his blows; and
withal so doubtfully that I could scarce understand them.
- ADRIANA:
- But say, I pr'ythee, is he coming home?
It seems he hath great care to please his wife.
- DROMIO OF EPHESUS:
- Why, mistress, sure my master is horn-mad.
- ADRIANA:
- Horn-mad, thou villain?
- DROMIO OF EPHESUS:
- I mean not cuckold-mad; but, sure, he's stark mad.
When I desir'd him to come home to dinner,
He ask'd me for a thousand marks in gold:
"Tis dinner time' quoth I; 'My gold,' quoth he:
'Your meat doth burn' quoth I; 'My gold,' quoth he:
'Will you come home?' quoth I; 'My gold,' quoth he:
'Where is the thousand marks I gave thee, villain?'
'The pig' quoth I 'is burn'd'; 'My gold,' quoth he:
'My mistress, sir,' quoth I; 'Hang up thy mistress;
I know not thy mistress; out on thy mistress!'
- LUCIANA:
- Quoth who?
- DROMIO OF EPHESUS:
- Quoth my master:
'I know' quoth he 'no house, no wife, no mistress:'
So that my errand, due unto my tongue,
I thank him, I bare home upon my shoulders;
For, in conclusion, he did beat me there.
- ADRIANA:
- Go back again, thou slave, and fetch him home.
- DROMIO OF EPHESUS:
- Go back again! and be new beaten home?
For God's sake, send some other messenger.
- ADRIANA:
- Back, slave, or I will break thy pate across.
- DROMIO OF EPHESUS:
- And he will bless that cross with other beating:
Between you I shall have a holy head.
- ADRIANA:
- Hence, prating peasant: fetch thy master home.
- DROMIO OF EPHESUS:
- Am I so round with you, as you with me,
That like a football you do spurn me thus?
You spurn me hence, and he will spurn me hither:
If I last in this service, you must case me in leather.
- [Exit.]
- LUCIANA:
- Fie, how impatience low'reth in your face!
- ADRIANA:
- His company must do his minions grace,
Whilst I at home starve for a merry look.
Hath homely age the alluring beauty took
From my poor cheek? then he hath wasted it:
Are my discourses dull? barren my wit?
If voluble and sharp discourse be marr'd,
Unkindness blunts it more than marble hard:
Do their gay vestments his affections bait?
That's not my fault; he's master of my state:
What ruins are in me that can be found
By him not ruin'd? then is he the ground
Of my defeatures: my decayed fair
A sunny look of his would soon repair;
But, too unruly deer, he breaks the pale
And feeds from home; poor I am but his stale.
- LUCIANA:
- Self-harming jealousy!—fie, beat it hence.
- ADRIANA:
- Unfeeling fools can with such wrongs dispense.
I know his eye doth homage otherwhere;
Or else what lets it but he would be here?
Sister, you know he promis'd me a chain;—
Would that alone, alone he would detain,
So he would keep fair quarter with his bed!
I see the jewel best enamelled
Will lose his beauty; yet the gold 'bides still
That others touch, yet often touching will
Wear gold; and no man that hath a name
By falsehood and corruption doth it shame.
Since that my beauty cannot please his eye,
I'll weep what's left away, and weeping die.
- LUCIANA:
- How many fond fools serve mad jealousy!
- [Exeunt.]
The Comedy of Errors
Prev: The Comedy of Errors: Act 1, Scene 2
Next: The Comedy of Errors: Act 2, Scene 2