The Free Object-Oriented License is the software license under which lzip is available (if you havent seen lzip yet, I suggest you read that node first, things will make more sense :)

(1) This software may be distributed, in whole or in part, in sickness or in health, for better or for worse, forsaking all others, for as long as we both shall live. Upon such occasion as deemed appropriate by the laws of this state and the Attorney General, or the General Attorney, or the King of Pop, you will transferred to a correctional facility until such time as you will be put to death.

(2) You have the right to an attorney. You have the right to remain silent. You have to fight for your right to par-tee. This license may not be revoked, redistributed, photocopied, or discussed without the express written consent of the parents. All models eighteen years of age, proof on file. The manager is not responsible for lost baggage.

(3) This product comes with absolutely NO WARRANTY. It also comes without meat, for those on a restricted diet. For score and seven years ago, our forebearers brought FORTH into this great ham a new nation, founded with liberty, justice, and the American way. Amway is another story altogether. Carry your paper reciept with you at all times, until your plastic one arrives in the mail. A thin layer of aluminum foil may protect against leaks.

(4) If at first you don't succeed, cry, try again. As my Calculus teacher in high school used to say, "Algebra is not magic. Algebra does not think. Human beings think; and when they do not think, and use algebra, then they are dangerous" (Book of Quigley, W:454). 2John 3:16. Best pecan pie in the county, guaranteed. Not redeemable for cash.

(5) Should the creators of this product fail to uphold their duties as spelled out in this contract, they shall forfeit the right to their crown, and the contestant ranked as First Alternate shall be named creator. Should no first alternate exist, the position will be determined by a two-thirds majority vote in the Senate. All disputes will be settled by force.

(6) Conjuction junction, what's *your* function? Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more than expected. If a train leaves Chicago for New York at 8:00am, traveling at 60 kph, and another train on a parallel track leaves New York for Chicago one hour later at 75 kph, when the two trains meet, which one will be further from Chicago? Write your entry on the back of 3x5 or larger notecard, and wait for our call. No, YOU shut up! In Texas, we have a saying:

(6.5) No eating the rabbits. Did I say no licking the rabbits? No, but it was implied. If you think I'm kidding just try it, punk. Direct all comments to Office of the Director General, c/o Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 3000 W Alameda Blvd, Burbank CA 91523. I wouldn't touch that if I were you. You must provide a valid telephone number, or you will not receive your ticket. Does anybody else see a bright, pink light at the back of their eyes?

(7) In the event that this software should require modification, return your computer to its original retail outlet. Await further instructions. Meditation will not help. Should you wish to alter or make any modifications, additions, or subtractions, or complex polynomial transformations, good luck, Chester. You're on your own. Ask not, want not. You can't make an omelette without breakin' a few heads. Some assembly required. A dark color will appear quickly. For best results, brew two cups at one time. Do not wash between use. Showing one's teeth to the dominant male will be taken as a sign of aggression. Once every hour, on the hour, and at other times determined at the discretion of the lifeguard on duty, we will perform a Buddy Check. When the whistle is blown, find your buddy and step onto the shore.

(8) To indicate your agreement with the terms of this license agrement, you may sign your computer screen. We will wait for you on the other side, brother. Keep the faith. Be strong, and remember: be yourself, because you have to someone, and everyone else is already taken.


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