Interviewer: Welcome to the afterlife. We hope you're comfortable. This is your afterlife interview. Your answers will be of some relevance for your further journey. Either way, remember that we know all the facts about your life on earth. How honest your answers are and how you reflect on your existence will play a significant role in the evaluation that follows this interview.
We are aware of the fact that this can be a somewhat stressful situation to be in. Rest assured that you're not in danger, and take all the time you need with your answers. First of all, like I said, we know all the facts about you, but - for the record - would you state your---

PZSSHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOINK!!!

...

Interviewer: Yes?

Candidate: Well, usually the host says the name of whoever has just hit the buzzer... but I can see how this would make my answer seem somewhat redundant for this particular question. Plus, there are no other candidates in the room...

Interviewer: That is a correct observation. Either way, we were asking what yo---

PZSSHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOINK!!!

Candidate
: Fathergreen!

Interviewer: "Father Green"? That was not even your correct clerical name, but that will do for the record. You did fine with this first question. As you will already have observed, we try to accommodate to your needs and habits as well as possible, in order to put you in an environment you feel comfortable in. So, in your life on earth you were famous as---

PZSSHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOINK!!!

Candidate: Thegameshowpriest!

Interviewer
: Please, let me remind - respectively reassure - you of the following: First, as common on earth, all questions we ask will be clearly marked by the sound of my voice rising toward the end of any sentence. While this is a primitive technique, it usually works in these interviews. Second, you have as much time as you need for your answers - you don't need to answer them before anyone else, and your answer is not timed. And even if there were any other candidates here, wouldn't your activating of the buzzer---

PZSSHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOINK!!!

Candidate: Yes, me activating the buzzer first would signify that I can answer the question before anyone else! Which would make the act of answering as quickly as possible fruitless! I see that now!

Interviewer: Alright, that was a rhetorical question, but I... err, we can see how you got mixed up there. We will have to word our instructions more consciously. But let me continue with my reminders. We had just settled the point that you don't need to answer quickly. Third, you don't have to shout your answers, even if you're excited. However, if you feel more comfortable shouting them, that is alright as well. So, are you more com---

PZSSHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOINK!!!

Candidate: Yes! I am! More comfortable shouting my answers! At least the first few words after the buzzer. After that it gets--- weird to continue shouting. Also, I don't know if this is uncalled for in this situation, but about that buzzer...

Interviewer: It's from your favorite game show, Martin's Afternoon Rallye. Don't you like that sound?

PZSSHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOINK!!!

Candidate: Yes! I mean no! It's my favorite show... to watch! But when I was on that quiz show the response time of the buzzer was horrible! Not just that, it seemed to be a little different each time I was on there! Try wording your answer when you're not actually sure whether you've pressed the buzzer or not, cause it doesn't make a sound until like two seconds after! And if you pressed again, it would just be another two seconds! Two seconds are the world in a game show! That buzzer was horrible! This buzzer here has just the right response time, but it still reminds me of that horrible experience!

Interviewer: Alright... well, not alright... I'm... we're very sorry if we chose the wrong sound for the buzzer. But we can fix that. Now, press the buzzer again to change the sound!

BWEEEEEEEEHP!

Candidate: Well, that's from Name your Prize with Mike - it is better than the one from Martin's Afternoon Rallye but still not my favorite. How many other sounds do you have?

Interviewer: All of them.

DZÖÖÖÖÖÖH! DOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHT!

Candidate: All the ones I know?

Interviewer: All of them. Just press the buzzer until your favorite buzzer sound appears.

DZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ! EEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOEEEOOH!

Candidate
: Well... That's not complicated at all! I'd have trouble even picking my favorite among the ones I know. I don't know how many others there are and whether I wouldn't like one of those better...

Interviewer
: The sounds simply repeat once you heard all of them. When you've made a final decision on what your favorite is, it will lock in automatically.

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOHOOH! MEEEEEEEEHHHHP! DIIINNNNNNNNGGGGGH!

Candidate
: So... this is hell already?

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