The Gerber Baby

The infant head which is proudly displayed on all baby products produced by Gerber. Apparently, Gerber made a contract with Satan: they make his spawn the official mascot of their company, he grants them monetary success.

I remember sitting in the living room and seeing an add for Gerber life insurance when I was young. At the end of the commercial, the giant baby head fills the entire screen. This may not seem like such a scary sight, but our television is quite big. Thus, the demonic cranium was enlarged to ungodly proportions causing me to have nightmares involving floating baby heads chasing me through the woods up until the time I entered middle school.

If you have not yet seen this monstrosity, visit www.gerber.com for a peek. Notice the way it's hair curls up on both sides of its head revealing its hellborn heritage, and the fact that it is enscribed in a circle, an ensignia reminiscent of the Satanic Pentagram.

The power the baby exerts on its victims is amazing. Even today I cannot pass by the baby food aisle without procuring some delicious natal nourishment for myself.

It feels so wrong, but it tastes so good...

The original illustration of the Gerber baby was done in 1928 by artist Dorothy Hope Smith Barlow, with charcoal. Rumor had it that the baby model was Humphrey Bogart, as his mother was an illustrator. (He would have been 29 years old in 1928, though it is possible his image may have been used in the 1900s.) The model was Smith's neighbor's baby, whose identity was kept secret until the model herself, Mrs. Ann Turner Cook of Tampa, Florida, came forward in the 1990s to grant interviews. Cook, a mystery novelist and retired English teacher, has never earned royalties on the use of her likeness, but she has done promotional appearances for Gerber.