"Phone — call Jack."
I'd probably get a ribbing from my best friend, who has been
saying for years that I was unmarryable.
I don't mind. If your
high school sweetheart doesn't turn out to be your
lifelong love
(and, let's face it, in most cases they shouldn't), I see no reason
to just jump in with both feet with the first person you meet after
graduation. I'm no better at solving the (gotta take time to know each
other well)/(shouldn't spend too much time on the wrong person)
dilemma than anyone else; add to that, my mostly solitary lifestyle
doesn't cause me to convert strangers at even the average rate, and
you get that I've not gone through a lot of potentials in my
thirty two years. But now I think I may well have found her.
The house phone
bonged in that incredible way that phones have:
barely audible, a sound not like any
other in the natural or manmade
worlds, a sound that Modern Man agrees could not possibly have any other
meaning than that the phone has something to tell you. I'd heard that
a team of psychologists and physiologists had worked for several years
perfecting it.
"Doctor Doyle is in the lab with a do not disturb, but
you're on the
exception list. Shall I request a breakthrough?"
"No, just have him call me when he's done."
I'd known Sarah for almost three years now, and I'd been working
up to the conclusion for a couple of months that I needed to ask
her to marry me. Lately I'd been wondering how people know when to
pop the question; if the other person is usually expecting it; if
there's a presumption or certainty that the answer will be yes when
one asks. I guess men often want to stage a production of some kind,
and that may give away their intention, subconciously at least.
bonggg"Doctor Doyle
is calling."
"Allow it — Hi, Jack."
"Hola, Trevamigo. Qué pasa? How's things?"
"Things are great! I called to tell you that I'm finally getting married!"
"¡Felicitaciones! You're marrying Sarah?"
"Yep. Tomorrow, with a reception here at 1600. Can you make it?"
"Sure. I've got a meeting in Sydney in the morning, but I can catch
the tube and be in Santa Barbara by about two.
So how'd you propose? Tell me all about it."
"Well, you remember she's an archeologist. I invited her to join me
on a walk yesterday, and took her around some of the old Chumash
sites. I had something elaborate all planned out, but while we were walking
along the beach, the sun hit just right and she saw this big sparkle
from a pile of leaves at the base of the cliff. While I was groaning
inwardly, she reached in and pulled out the diamond ring I'd hid there
earlier. Let me tell you, it took a minute to convince her that I'd
planned to find it and give it to her. But when I got down on
one knee, that convinced her!"
"That's great, Trev. I've always thought that you and she might
end up together."
"Yeah, me too. It looks like she's the person I've been hoping for
all my life. But I'm still going to follow the plan I've always said
I would. Last night, after we celebrated for a while, I got down to
the details and said I wanted to start out with a two year term. Kinda
like investing, you make the plan ahead of time so you don't get
carried away in the moment. Of course, she had a more romantic gleam
in her eye, but she agreed. And we're both confident that it will go
on after that."
"I knew you'd stick to your plan, but I'm going to reserve right now
the privilege of throwing you your fifty year anniversary
bash."
With a laugh, I said "I'm going to hold you to that!"
* * * * *
"Here it is" I said to Sarah, seeing the Notary Public sticker
in the window. I held the door open and followed her in; the little
bell tinkled again as the door closed.
"May I help you?"
"We need to record a marriage."
"I thought so! I can always see it in the eyes when a couple
comes in. Have a seat there. Do you have a contract and affidavit
prepared?"
"Yes, here they are. Standard two year marriage."
The gentleman looked over the papers. "Hmm, yes. And with a doctor's
certificate of reproductive suppression, good for two years and dated
yesterday. I see one for the gentleman, but not for the lady…."
Sarah looked in the folder she'd returned to her satchel. "Oh, it
didn't come out with the others. Here it is."
"Very good. And you have identification? Good. It'll take me a moment
to record all this in my journal."
Sarah and I took the opportunity to spend about half an eon looking
into each other's eyes, until the notary subtly cleared his throat.
"Mr. Valdez, please raise your right hand. Do you swear or affirm that
you enter into this contract of marriage with full consent, have
disclosed to your intended spouse the existence of any children or
heirs you might have, and that you are not currently married, with the
exception of this being a renewal of a current marriage to this same
spouse?"
"I do so swear."
"Ms. Romero, please raise your right hand. Do you swear or affirm that
you enter into this contract of marriage with full consent, have
disclosed to your intended spouse the existence of any children or
heirs you might have, and that you are not currently married, with the
exception of this being a renewal of a current marriage to this same
spouse?"
"I do so swear. I do!"
The notary turned his journal around on the table, and we each
signed.
"Congratulations to you both. There's an eighteen dollar fee to
record this in the public record, payable in Liberty Dollars
or any other gold or silver money. I waive my notary fee for marriages."
I counted out eighteen dollars in silver certificates, and then dropped
a one ounce Silver Liberty in the notary's hand. He shook our hands and
we were off to the small celebration that I'd planned for friends and
family.
* * * * *
"Congratulations again, Trevor. I'll see you later."
"Okay, Miles. Thanks for coming."
The party had finally wound down; all of the guests were gone except
for Jack, who didn't count. He came up and put an arm around me.
"It's been a good year, eh Trev?"
Sarah heard, and from the middle of the room said loudly, "You bet
it has, Jackson. And before the next year is up, he's going to agree
to much more than a two-year contract! We're going to be one mind,
one body, forever!"
In a stage whisper, I said "She doesn't know how right she is." Then
more privately to Jack, "I want to visit you in the outback sometime
very soon. I've got something serious to talk about."
* * * * *
It was the next
Tuesday that I got home from
work early, shaved and
showered, and stepped into the tube for Sydney. It was pretty windy,
and well into autumn there, and I realized I should have dried my hair
before I left. But I managed to survive the several minutes until the
tube car for Perth arrived; there I immediately I got a taxi to lift me
out to Jack's place in the Little Sandy Desert.
It was early afternoon and he hadn't eaten; he insisted that we get
a bite to eat and chitchat before I brought up whatever had brought
me down to him. He packed a lunch and we walked out to a stone bench
that he favored, mostly for contemplation, but also to share with the
rare special visitor.
When he'd downed the last of his Hop Thief ale,
I jumped right into it.
"Jack, you always keep me in the loop as to what you're doing here, and
I read the few papers that you publish, and I think
I've got a good read
on where you are now. In fact, I'd bet that you're way beyond what you've
told the public — I could see a look of alarm start forming about
three layers down in the dermis of his face — and I want in. All
the way. I'm sure you've fused some test subjects by now."
"Trevor! Geez, I'm… well, you're right, but geez, we're talking
about nematodes here! Mice! Yeah, a rabbit." He was talking
around a broad smile now, his pride getting the better of him. "And a
couple of goats."
"And… primates?…"
"Okay, stop twisting my arm. Yes, I've had unqualified success with
macaques, which led me to chimpanzees, also completely
successful. So what are you really getting at, as if I can't
guess."
"Sarah and I. We're all set to enter into a lifetime contract, but
dammit, we want to be married. There
isn't enough life for us together as it is, even if
we didn't have to be apart to live parts of it. We want to be one person."
"Well, now, Trevor, I don't know if that would happen,
even if everything went perfectly. Yes, I have
irrefutable evidence that the one surviving
organism had knowledge from both itself and the other, and also that
personality traits from both were now exhibited by the one. But I don't
know what it was like for him. Uh, them."
"Exactly! You don't know. You can't know until you perform the
procedure on humans. Now are you ready to do that? Or not?"
"Umm, well … yes. The procedure definitely works as far as doing
whatever it actually does, and is
quite safe now.
Assuming, of course,
you look at the bodily death of one of the participants in the right
way. There's nothing more to be learned from doing it on more animals.
But geez, Trev, you?"
"Yes, Jack. Me. Me and Sarah. I'm willing to
risk it for the big payoff.
I haven't broached the idea to Sarah yet, which will obviously take some
time, but she and I think alike in this. I've occasionally mentioned the
work you're doing and I can see the excitement in her eyes."
Jack remained silent for a couple of minutes, while I waited patiently.
Finally he stood and said "Give me a few minutes, Trev." He took out a
packet of tobacco and packed his pipe, and slowly wandered off into the
scrub brush. I watched him chart a random path back and
forth across my
field of vision for about a half hour, finally munching on the last
apple from the bag to keep my fingers from drumming
dimples into my leg.
Eventually, he came to a stop, bent over to bang his pipe on a rock,
and strode back to me in a straight line. He rested one foot on
the arm of the bench and looked me right in the eye.
"You know, Trevor, there are other issues. Legal issues. At the end
of the procedure, one of the two organisms that went into it is dead.
One of you, you or Sarah, will be dead, your body anyway. That brings
up plenty of civil issues with respect to the claim that you are both
still living, which will be unprecedented; but it also might leave me
in a bit of a sticky wicket, criminally."
"Surely you'll be protected, Jack. I'm sure that whatever standard
protocol for medical experimentation on volunteer human subjects that
there is will cover you. I wouldn't ask you to, and wouldn't let you, do
it otherwise."
"Well, you're probably right. Let's put that aside for now. Have you
thought about what the legal status of the two of you will be afterward?
Do you expect the State to consider you a married couple? I'd guess the
best you might hope for is that one of you is declared dead and the other
just goes on as the same person as before. That might not matter much,
since you and Sarah will be together in any case. But remember also, we
don't know what your psychology will be. I don't know if you'll be talking
to each other like in the movies, or if your
minds will actually become
one. What if that's the case, and the mind someday decides that the
procedure didn't work and it's been hallucinating that it did. There'll
probably be people who ascribe the fantastic story to grief and try to "help"
you through it."
"Sure, Jack, there are plenty of unknowns. As you said at the outset,
you don't know how the subjects will relate after the procedure. But
after Sarah and I go through it, you will know, because we'll tell you.
The legal stuff, well, we'll prepare the best we can and see it through.
Jack, my friend, I want this. Tell me you'll agree to it, so I can talk
to Sarah. There's no point in that if you won't do it. Who knows, maybe
she'll let you off the hook by saying I'm crazy. Not!"
"Okay, Trev. You've got me."
* * * * *
"What's with the cop outside, Jack? Are you sure that's a good idea?
I thought the witnessed affidavit was fine."
"I've still got those, but I want the sheriff to be an eyewitness. The
government doesn't like it if you leave them out."
"Okay, it's your show. We're ready. You still have no idea which of us
will come out of this?"
"Nope. I think Heisenberg's ghost is always
present at these procedures.
Okay, Trevor, Sarah: take a couch and we'll get started."
The last thing Trevor saw was his best friend withdrawing the needle
from his arm. One way or the other, he knew he'd wake up with Sarah.
* * *
Sarah opened her eyes and took in the large, school-style clock near the
ceiling showing 4 o'clock straight up. Five hours. She lifted her head
and looked at the double evidence that she
was still in her body;
that meant —
Rolling her head to the left, she saw Trevor on the other couch.
Sleeping peacefully? No hon, I'm right here with you. Her
involuntary yelp and ear-to-ear smile brought Dr. Doyle to his feet
and awakened the snoozing deputy. Doyle took a light hold of Sarah's
left wrist and peered into her eyes. Satisfied, he turned to the man
lying still behind him. It was immediately obvious that the body no
longer housed any vital force.
"Don't bother, Doc. Trevor's here with me."
The deputy was standing next to Doyle now. The doctor heaved a big
sigh of relief. Now to make absolutely sure. "Officer, you have the
envelopes?" Just before administering anesthesia to Trevor and Sarah,
Doyle had instructed the deputy to tell each a random word of his own
choosing, and then write each one down and seal them in
separate envelopes. He now withdrew them from
his Eisenhower jacket and selected the one
labelled "Trevor".
Doyle double checked that the video recorder was running, then said
to Sarah, "Please tell us Trevor's code word." Gaucho.
"Gaucho." "Louder please," said the deputy.
"Gaucho." Doyle repeated the word loudly, then the deputy showed the
envelope to the camera, ripped it open, and held up the slip of paper
within. "My God!" escaped his lips as the camera focussed on the word
"gaucho" clearly written in black Sharpie.
"Let's be complete. Open Sarah's envelope."
Doyle didn't want anybody
claiming that Sarah and Trevor might have been given the same word.
Rip. Pull. "Eskimo."
Jackson smiled and squeezed Sarah's hand. "It worked! It's over."
As the doctor started filling out a death certificate (with an
unprecedented caveat added), Trevor piped up in Sarah's mind.
"Over? The hard part may be just beginning."
* * * * *
"All, rise. This court is again in session."
"I've given a great deal of thought to this case, as you might imagine.
It is possible that history will be made in this courtroom today, but
it is not my job as a judge. I have tried to keep my deliberations
focused narrowly on the procedural issues before me, and hope that
the substantive questions, which may alter our society for all time to
come, will be answered by the wisdom of the people. That said, I have
taken judicial notice of the larger issue.
"The outcome of this case will also have direct bearing on other issues
in this jurisdiction, and the chief judge has ordered that I will
decide them all together.
"In the matter of The State of California vs. Jackson Doyle, on the
count of manslaughter, I find the defendant not guilty. The death of
Mr. Valdez, if dead he be, was an unfortunate effect
of the pursuit
of new medical knowledge, in an experiment to which he fully consented.
I would like to express my disapproval of the District Attorney's
decision to file a charge in this case; his discretion did not require
it and I think the hypothetical Reasonable Man would not have done so.
"I have three prayers before me.
"First, that the will of Mr. Trevor Navarro Valdez be set aside, in
favor either of his former will which he replaced with the current
one, or of a ruling that the current will is invalid and that he was
de jure intestate. There is a contention that the unusual clause
of time limitation on the event of death makes for an incentive for
the sole beneficiary to cause that very death, and here we are with
Mr. Valdez "dead" and Ms. Romero involved, to put it mildly; indeed,
there has been
some suggestion that she conspired with Dr. Doyle to arrange his passing.
"While I have previously declared Mr. Valdez legally dead, I did so
while concluding that he entered into this experiment possessed
of his faculties; and, I have expressly refused to declare that the
experiment did not result in the achievement of its stated goal.
"Thus, I reject the prayer and rule that the current will of
Mr. Valdez, naming Ms. Romero as his sole heir, is to be
accepted as valid.
"Second, that I create by judicial fiat a new legal person, consisting
of the complete union of the natural persons Mr. Valdez and Ms. Romero
and corporeally bound to the body currently belonging to Ms. Romero.
I reject the prayer with the comment that the questions raised by
this unprecedented situation, and the implications of deciding them
along the lines desired by Ms. Romero, Dr. Doyle — and also
Mr. Valdez — are in the bailiwick of the legislature. It is
left to them to debate, and hopefully to bring to bear the best wisdom
they can gather, and somehow lead our society to come to grips with
this new technology.
"This next is solely my personal opinion, but I want it in the record. Based
on exhaustive and skeptical examination of the evidence, I believe that
Dr. Doyle's experiment was in fact successful and the natural person
known as Trevor Valdez is here with us now. I will be forwarding the
record of this trial and all of that evidence to the members of the
State Assembly and Senate with a request that they immediately begin
work on dealing with it. I also make myself available to testify
before them.
"Finally, that the legal name of Sarah Tamara Romero be changed to,
and that she be henceforth recognized as,
Sartre Rana Valero. The prayer is granted; the county recorder is
hereby directed to enter it in the record and to cooperate with all
state and federal authorities to do the same, in accordance with his
normal procedures.
"These trials are concluded."
Trevor and Sarah were happily oblivious to the ruckus in the courtroom.
# # #