The Metanode Destruction Team

Believed to be funded by the Illuminati, this top secret, bottom feeding organization is dedicated to removing from Everything2 all nodes that use the word Metanode, and replacing them with one node entitled "Metanode" which would describe what metanodes were before The Metanode Destruction Team completed its task. The Metanode Destruction Team is founded on the following principles:

WE BELIEVE..!

1. The redundant use of the word metanode in redundant metanode nodes is in fact redundant and such redundancy should redundantly be redunted. Repeatedly.
2. Phrases similar to the above are very funny. You are required to laugh.
3. It is possible to take any metanode, edit and regurgitate the information from said metanode to a similar worded title node without the word metanode in it, and create a new node, so that the metanode could then be disposed of without losing important information.
4. It is possible this is already happening. Right under your nose. If it's not, it should be.
5. The Metanode Destruction Team is not a laughing matter. However, words with the letter "K" in them are funny. For example.
   • kumquat
   • Klumps
   • Kung Fu
   • Kulka
6. There is NO number six!
7. Anyone can destroy a Metanode by researching more information about the topic in hand, adding information from Other People's Nodes, and combining that into a node which doesn't use the word Metanode in it. Then reporting this to the Powers That Be and letting them decide whether or not the Metanode can finally be removed.
8. The convention for renaming a metanoded metanode to a non-metanode node is done in the following manner.
   1. Examine the present name of the metanode to be destroyed.
      For example: The Foo Metanode
   2. Remove any reference to the word "metanode."
      ex.: The Foo Metanode - Metanode = The Foo
   3. Remove any other unecessary superlatives.
      ex.: The Foo Metanode - Metanode - The = Foo
   Result: The old metanode would now fall in the Foo node.
9. Eternal vigilance is required to insure no one out there starts coming up with alternatives to the term metanode. For example, hypernode, globalnode, ubernode or More about foo usage should recieve very nasty penalties, like being forced to watch twenty hours of reruns of Starsky and Hutch without bathroom priviledges.
10. Some of the following other things which we find rather redundant and pointless which could be reverted to one or less nodes that would not be quite as redundant and pointless would include but not be limited to the following redundant and pointless nodes:
    • information in the node edible womens' panties can be added to the node edible underwear and then edible womens' panties can be removed.
    • Redundant could contain all of the following:
      • Redundant Interface
      • redundancy
      • Department of Redundancy Department
      • redundant redundancy
      • Russian triple redundancy
      • Cyclic Redundancy Check
      • The National Coalition for the Department of Redundancy Department Organization Fund
      • School of Redundancy School
      • Committee to Fight Redundancy Committee,
      • History Repeats Itself,
      • Words may sound funny if you repeat them aloud too many times. and..
      • Pete and Repeat are in a boat.
    • Information in recursive lather, rinse, repeat can be added to lather, rinse, repeat and recursive lather, rinse, repeat could then be removed.
    • Information in politicians can be added to assholes, or perhaps we should just stop voting for assholes running for public office.
    • chicken fried chicken... well that one's kinda cute!
    • The incredible edible egg is just silly, but we are willing to compromise.
    • More, much, much more, more coming soon, -More-, bigger, better, faster, more, more to come, You like it You love it You want MORE! and more... are just annoying. We believe these should all be replaced with pictures of Cher's tattoo collection.

You may say I'm a schemer,
but I'm not the only one,
I hope some day you'll join us,
And the nodegel will be... gumm.. y.

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Practicin' Whut Ah Be Preachin'

Do not let it be said I'm just talking and not doing. The following foos were metanodes I had written and posted to foo metanodes until I copied them to just a foo node without the actual word metanode in it, and then I asked The Powers That Be at E2 nuke request to delete the old metanodes.

• Christmas
• Star Trek
• SubGenius
• Superhero
• Jessica Pierce
• peanut butter sandwich

I think if more people did this, there'd be more information in less places and E2 would become easier to use and more fun. Or not. I'm tryin' anywayz. =)

The following has been added on March 22nd of 2002.

A smart alecky cool dude named stupot has recently pointed out to me in a private message, "According to your rules, this node should be under Destruction Team :o)" This is a very valid point. However, were I to do this to this particular node, it wouldn't make any sense. So the irony is not lost here. I understand that this very node makes me a walking hypocrite. To this I can only paraphrase Douglas Adams, "Nobody likes a smart ass."

The following has been added on June 29th of 2003.

Another smart alecky cool dude named oakling asked if "regarding the metanode destruction team - is "the" really a superlative?" And I have to say no because this is in reference to THE metanode destruction team as opposed to all the other metanode destruction teams out there. Accept No Substitutes!