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The Microsoft Song
To the tune of Red River Valley

You've got three thousand features I don't need
Yet you still will not do what I ask
You pretend you can do it all for me
Every time, you just drag out the task

You are shit, you are shit, you are Microsoft
Both my time and my wallet you'll hit
With your frequent mysterious crashing
And your help that won't help me a bit
With each new release you grow bigger
Also slower and harder to use
And security seems not to figure
For the Love Bug you've got no excuse
You are shit, you are shit, you are Microsoft
Both my time and my wallet you'll hit
With your frequent mysterious crashing,
And your help that won't help me a bit.

Too harsh? Possibly. And maybe the refrain is a little on the juvenile side. But Microsoft's near-total neglect of security issues has been bugging me for years - they really don't have any excuse for the Love Bug, let alone the various vicious viruses which have followed it, piggybacking on Visual Basic's cleverly designed virus support systems and Outlook (Express)'s ingenious 'run viruses attached to emails as soon as you look at them' feature. The instability of every Microsoft platform and almost all of their applications is also grotesque, as is their pioneering in the field of bloatware. So I stand by my decision to node this song. Slightly cheap chorus aside, there are some serious points being made here which deserve to be made often, because Microsoft is still dominating the operating system, office software and email markets despite its long-term, ongoing abuse of its near-monopoly position.

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