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A drinking song of the navy in Canada. Many verses are from World War II.

Other verses come from a much older song, The Good Ship Venus, a bawdy ballad with endless variations, popular in the British navy that dates back to at least the early 1800's.

The modern science fiction filk version is The Starship Venus.

I have explained some words through soft links and put other notes in parentheses.


The North Atlantic Squadron

For forty days and forty nights,
We sailed the broad Atlantic,
And never to pass a piece of ass,
It drove us nearly frantic.

Chorus
Away, away with fife and drum,
Here we come, full of rum.
Looking for women who peddle their bum,
In the North Atlantic Squadron.
("fife and drum" refers to soldiers)

In days of old when knights were bold,
And women weren't particular,
They lined them up against the wall,
And screwed them perpendicular.

In days of old when men were bold,
And Johnnies weren't invented,
They wrapped a sock around their cock,
And babies were prevented.

In days of old when pilots were bold,
And V2s weren't invented,
We'd fly our Spits and shoot down Fritz,
And fly away contented.
(*In WWII, V2s were German missiles; Spitfires were RAF airplanes)

The cook she ran around the deck,
The Captain he pursued her,
He caught her on the afterdeck,
The dirty bastard screwed her.

For forty days and forty nights,
We sailed the broad Atlantic,
The Captain and his scurvy crew,
For want of a screw were frantic.

The Eskimo women, they are the shits,
They have no hair, they have no tits,
They whack you off with frozen mitts,
In the North Atlantic Squadron.

We're off, we're off to Montreal,
We'll shag the women, we'll shag them all,
We'll pickle their cherries in alcohol,
On the North Atlantic Squadron.

When we arrived in Montreal,
She spread her legs from wall to wall.
She took the Captain balls and all,
In the North Atlantic Squadron.

A-sailing up and down the coast,
Now, here's the thing we love the most:
To fuck the girls and drink a toast
In the North Atlantic Squadron.

Well, off the coast of Labrador,
We took on board a floating whore,
We fucked here forty times or more,
In the North Atlantic Squadron.

A-sailing up to Newfoundland,
Each sailor had his prick in his hand.
Oh say, my boys, can you make it stand?
In the North Atlantic Squadron.

The night we went to Newfoundland,
We came ashore with tool in hand,
Fucked each slut in the caribou hut,
In the North Atlantic Squadron.

In Newfoundland when it got hot,
We used to fornicate a lot,
Only the fools would be pulling their tools,
In the North Atlantic Squadron.

The Newfie girls are hard to screw,
They jump around like a kangaroo,
But even a kangaroo will do,
In the North Atlantic Squadron.

With lustful shouts we ran about,
And practised copulation,
And when we left to sail away,
We'd doubled the population.

In Labrador we used to sit,
In the mess and shoot the shit,
With fuck-all to do but swallow it,
In the North Atlantic Squadron.

The BC girls are hard to lay,
All they want to do is play,
And when you lay them down to screw,
They spread their legs and piss on you.

When we got to Yankee land,
We spied a Yankee harlot,
When we came her cunt was lily-white,
When we left her cunt was scarlet.

When in Vera Cruz we touched,
We found that Kingston whores were such,
That when open wide you could put inside,
The North Atlantic Squadron.

In Gaspe it rained all the time,
The sun was never known to shine,
The fog was so thick you could set it in bricks,
In the North Atlantic Squadron.

The girls of Gaspe town are bags,
They always seem to wear their rags;
And if they don't, their pussy sags,
From the North Atlantic Squadron.
(*Gaspe is a city in Quebec Province, Canada)

If I had a girl and she were mine,
Upon her arse I'd paint a sign,
"Try this for size, it's really fine"
In the North Atlantic Squadron..

And when our ship is in drydock,
The whores around us all do flock.
It's every man unfurl your cock,
In the North Atlantic Squadron.

And when the ship pulls out again,
And reckoned all our score up,
We'd caught a pox from every box,
That syphilized all Europe.

Frigging on the rigging,
Wanking on the planking,
Masturbating on the grating,
In the North Atlantic Squadron.

The Captain's name was Slugger,
He was a dirty bugger,
On any bugger's lugger,
In the North Atlantic Squadron.

The First Mate's name was Paul,
He only had one ball,
But he could shove it to the wall,
In the North Atlantic Squadron.

The Second Mate's name was Andy,
His legs were long and bandy,
And he was pissing in the brandy,
In the North Atlantic Squadron.

The Third Mate's name was Carter,
By God, he was a farter,
On windless days he'd start her,
In the North Atlantic Squadron.

The crew they were all whiney,
They'd drink up all their winey,
They wanted head but settled for hiney,
In the North Atlantic Squadron.

One seaman's name was Morgan,
He was a grisly Gorgon.
All day long he stroked his organ,
In the North Atlantic Squadron.

Another's name was Wiggun,
By God he had a big 'un.
He whipped for cumming in the riggin',
In the North Atlantic Squadron.

Another's name was Slater,
He was a masturbator.
He'd pump his stump and clean it later.
In the North Atlantic Squadron.

The Captain's wife was Mabel,
Whenever she was able.
She did the crew on the messroom table,
In the North Atlantic Squadron.

His mistress was called Charlotte,
Who was born and bred a harlot,
Her long white legs were made scarlet,
In the North Atlantic Squadron.

The Captain's randy daughter,
Was swimming in the water,
Squealed as eels entered her sexual quarter,
In the North Atlantic Squadron.

Then there was the Navigator,
He was a fornicator,
After he fucked, her ate her,
In the North Atlantic Squadron.

The cook whose name was Freeman,
He was a dirty demon,
Serving menstrual stew and hymens fried in semen,
In the North Atlantic Squadron.

Another cook was O'Mally,
He didn't dilly dally,
When he cum he whitewashed half the galley,
In the North Atlantic Squadron.

Another cook was Herbert,
A gastronomical pervert.
He whacks it off in the sherbet,
In the North Atlantic Squadron.

The Boatswain's name was Lester,
When he was a hymen tester,
He'd leave his dick in to fester,
In the North Atlantic Squadron.

The engineer was McTavish,
And young girls he did ravish.
He's missing his tool for being lavish,
In the North Atlantic Squadron.

A homo was the Purser,
He couldn't have been worser,
He asked the crew who said, "Oh, no sir."
In the North Atlantic Squadron.

Another one was Cropper,
Oh Christ he had a whopper.
He put it up his bum for a stopper,
In the North Atlantic Squadron.

The cabin boy was Kipper,
A dirty little nipper,
With glass in ass he circumcised the skipper,
In the North Atlantic Squadron.

The cabin boy, the cabin boy
The dirty little nipper
He lined his ass with broken glass
And circumcised the Skipper.

The ship's dog's name was Rover,
The whole crew did him over,
They ground this hound from Canada to Dover,
In the North Atlantic Squadron.

The ship's cat's name was Kitty,
His hole was black and shitty,
Twat is twat the Captain showed no pity,
In the North Atlantic Squadron.

'Twas in the Adriatic,
Where the water's almost static,
The rise and fall of ass and ball was automatic,
In the North Atlantic Squadron.

On a trip to Buenos Aires,
We rogered all the fairies.
Got a dose of clap in the Canaries,
In the North Atlantic Squadron.

'Twas on the China Station,
To roars of approbation,
We sunk a junk with mutual masturbation,
In the North Atlantic Squadron.

The bo'sun was of use to us,
He painted his cock with phosphorus,
And by its light one stormy night,
He steered us through the Bosporus.

The firefighters have lots of fire
They never, never seem to tire
Of pulling their hose, and pulling their wire
In the North Atlantic Squadron.

The wireless boys they fly so high,
I wish to hell that they would die.
Their da da dits give us the shits
In the North Atlantic Squadron

A lazy crowd are the bastard clerks,
They piss around like a bunch of jerks.
They fuck around but they never work
In the North Atlantic Squadron.

The civvies in the Ferry Command
Are always jerking off by hand.
They're the fucking scourge of this fair land
In the North Atlantic Squadron.

The Northern Electric put up poles;
They should be shoved up their arseholes.
They stay inside when it is cold
In the North Atlantic Squadron

The Ferry Command from Montreal,
What do they bring but sweet fuck all.
Whatever the date, they're always late
In the North Atlantic Squadron.

The dear old WAAFs, I hope they'll come
And then we'll pat them on the bum;
And in the bushes our work will be done
In the North Atlantic Squadron.
(*Women's Auxiliary Air Force - from WWII)

Those MT men are reckless birds,
They roar around like crazy turds.
They smash up trucks with very few words
In the North Atlantic Squadron.
(*Motor Transport Pool - from WWII)

The RAF are on the bit,
Giving Hitler lots of shit,
And after the war they'll talk about it
And the North Atlantic Squadron.

Every night at half-past eight,
The captain and the gunner's mate,
Lay on the deck to masturbate,
In the North Atlantic Squadron.

They smuggled aboard a helluva whore,
She's even taking it on the floor,
And when you're done she'll ask for more
In the North Atlantic Squadron.

The skipper said the women were clean,
But I got one he couldn't've seen,
My cock has turned a rusty green
In the North Atlantic Squadron.

We met some girls from gay Paree,
We tickled them above the knee,
They spread their legs so we could see,
The North Atlantic Squadron.

The Captain was elated,
The Crew investigated,
He fell ill and had to be castrated,
In the North Atlantic Squadron.

And the ladies of the nation,
Arose in indignation,
Suffed his bum with gum in retaliation,
In the North Atlantic Squadron.

So now we end this serial,
Through sheer lack of material,
We wish you luck from diseases venereal,
In the North Atlantic Squadron.

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