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A fun rock four-piece from Melbourne, Victoria, Australia whose aim is to not take themselves too seriously and to promote the homosexual lifestyle.

Band members:
Hector the Homosexual dancing monkey

Turning the Other Cheek

1. Your Cock/My Ass (YMCA) - A based on Elastica's song "Your Ass/My Place"
2. Dr Creep
3. Just Touch It
4. I Wanna Be Your Woman
5. Secret Man's Business
6. The Cockroach
7. Penis Colada
8. Russian Oil Tanker Blues
9. Jesus Loves Me
10. Young Faggot From China
11. (Whatever Happened to) The Paperless Office

Of course the best way of finding out about a band is to see them live. What follows are some gig reports of them and a few other bands:

Sailors, They Might Be Vaginas & The Twits @ The Espy

I'd been looking forward to this for quite a while as I'd heard quite a bit about They Might Be Vaginas through Fred Negro's 'Pub Strips'.

The Sailors were up first. They do look pretty slick in shirts and ties, but they first thing they said was it was a full moon so watch out for Vernon (the bass player) as he is likely to turn into a 'Were-Faggot'.

They continued this theme with songs such as "Your Cock/My Ass" and "Faggot from China" - "There once was a faggot from China, whose arse was a male vagina. He loved to be kissed while taking the fist."

The 'homosexual dancing monkey' drummer got up to sing "Swashbuckling Faggots" - "YO HO HO and a Bottle of Rum! The Swashbuckling Faggots are after your Bum!"

Their final song, which seemed really popular was "I'll punch the arse with the fist of my cock". They managed to get most of the audience singing along with them too (it was also popular with the ladies for some reason.)

While the next band was setting up, they forgot to turn off the microphones so the "Fuck You Man" from the They Might Be Vaginas got up and started telling jokes as well as bagging the band that was playing upstairs (The Drugs) and 'The Secret Life of Us' (until they turned him off that is.)

They Might Be Vaginas from Brisbane were on next, they are a punk band with a lead singer called 'Stumpy' and the 'Fuck You Man' on guitar. There were a few people who came down from Brisbane to see them and said they were 'as rough as guts', but they could go at it pretty good (the guitarist was fast as was the drummer.) At one point Stumpy got out a jar of Vegemite (he called it 'Vaginamite') and gave himself a thick brown moustache. Most of the band lost their clothes at some point also. The band said they would move down to Melbourne when the 'trains' going down the middle of the road were got rid of.

Here's their set list that I picked up off the floor:

No Eye Dear
Mamma Done (? has more but I forgot it)
Dwarf Fuckin'
Amputee Pie
Party of Five in my pants
Nursing Home Brothel
Hot Wet Tight (?)
Your Mother's a Monkey
Drip Tray
Joe Sluck I want to fuck you in the butt
+ Expose (?)

The Twits closed the set, with all the usual stuff that the Twits get up to. It seems they now have some actual real-life punk fans with mo-hawks and everything. It was a good set, but they didn't know when to quit and the end was a debacle with some wanker grabbing a mike and being an idiot. The moshing was good too (TMBV were the best moshers.)

Cup Day Kaos 2002 @ The Espy

I really only went today to see The Twits (I would have liked to see Six Ft Hick but they were on too late.) The band played OK today considering they were missing one singer (the one who new all the songs.) Luckily there was a helpful British ex-pat on hand who had memorised some of the lyrics.

The other band I saw today who were really good was The Sailors. They were really popular and they got up to some antics on stage which included the guitarist stage diving still holding his instrument and also getting on the bassist's shoulders and both of them falling off the stage onto a woman in the audience (the only damage was that their guitars went out of tune.)

This band is really popular with the ladies for some reason which must be amusing for them as they are more interested in the good looking men in the audience. For some reason this band gets bagged for being un-PC, but there are worse bands around - this is something the band addresses in their song "Jesus loves me"

In their set tonight they mostly played songs off their new album, but there were some old favourites including "I'll punch you with the fist of my cock" (but no "Swashbuckling Faggots" - they only had a 45 minute set.)

The Sailors are well worth looking out for in their gigs around Melbourne (they would probably do very well in Sydney if they ever decided to go there.)

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