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Ours used to be Hemingway, till we found out
it sounded too much like "help me"
with the ball gag in.

I'll put something in your hand, he says,
and you can just drop it if we go too far,
if something goes wrong.

A coin, something that'd clatter.
Oh, great idea, honey--
it's just too bad the bedroom's carpeted.

How about humming? he proposes.
You can hum Happy Birthday.
Is that really the best idea we've got?

Well, it's the best idea I've got, he barks.
I'm at the end of my rope here, kiddo.
Maybe we should just stick to missionary.

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