The Ultimate ladies' man secrets

Through some major discussion with my friends I have discovered through huge amounts of research is:
1) Tell women "I'm celibate."
2) Know huge amounts of cutesy trivia about shows you watched as a kid (smurfs, carebears, sesame street, etc.), and be able to draw interesting sexual innuendo from them. For example: Smurfette was the only female smurf so she must have been a slut.
3) Get your hair dyed a cool color that makes you stand out in a sexy way. My hair is currently orange and God it sure seems to work. ;)
4) After much persistent nagging expose your true feelings in a personal and touching way.
5) Be self-confident and dress well, this just makes you look attractive. Have good posture and maintain at least a minimal level of hygeine.
6) Pray, supplicate to idols, offer sacrifices, whatever must be done, do it. Virgin sacrifices are looked upon favorably.

If she's a great Ultimate Frisbee player, then there's not much you can do other than display quiet competence and a sense of fair play and hope for the best. But, if she's still learning or is not as skilled as some of the others ...

• If she's on your team, throw her the disc whenever she has a decent chance. Don't always go deep to the star player.
• Compliment her on a good catch, throw, or a great try.
• Never show anger at a flubbed play.
• If she's on your team, smile at her when doing high-fives after a point.
• If she's on your team, walk back with her during Losers walk.
• Always know where she is on the field.
• Make small talk when you're both subbed off and during Losers walk.
• If she's on the other team, make light of the ultra-competitive team member (there's always one).
• Tell her you enjoyed playing with/against her
• Never turn down the after-game run for beer, even if you don't drink.