The Vapors

Sudden, otherwise unprovoked, fits of fainting in adolescent girls. Related to the menstrual cycle, the vapors tend to be at their most troublesome if you "aren't one of those girls": that is, intellectual, independent, and feminist. Unfortunately, this affects vegetarians more than carnivores, and girls "on a diet" or just eating less than otherwise. Otherwise known as "throwing a wobbler", the only known treatment is rest and love. (Although pelvic massage might help, as well.)

A New-wave band originally formed in 1978, and reformed in 1979. The group was a one-hit wonder, with that one hit being Turning Japanese which made it to number three on the UK charts in 1980. They actually released a second album in 1981, but it flopped and the group broke up. The Vapors were Howard Smith (drums), Edward Bazalgette (lead guitar), David Fenton (vocals), and Steve Smith (bass). Their discography, like many bands from the '80s, now includes more compilations than albums.

The Vapors discography:

• New Clear Days, 1980
• Magnets, 1981
• Anthology, 1995
• Turning Japanese: The Best of the Vapors, 1996
• Vaporized, 1998