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I first heard the name “Venusian Kazoo” when I was doing a search on a subject that is very near and dear to my heart - a form of cunnilingus using your lips to “buzz” her clitoris. It’s dear to my heart because I have been doing this for my wife for our entire 29 year marriage. The internet search wasn’t very fruitful though. The only reference I found was to something called the Venusian Kazoo here on Everything2, but that was long after I’d been doing it for my wife without knowing what to call it. It’s kind of tricky and requires some effort and endurance on your part but it’s not hard and the gratitude you get from her will be well worth it.

You wanna know how I came up with the idea? One night being playful in bed with my wife I made a “raspberry” on her on her smooth, tight 20 year-old belly. My wife laughed so I did it again but a little lower down and she laughed again. Then a lightbulb went off in my head. “I wonder” I thought. So I kept going lower until I touched her clitoris and, boy, she reacted like I’d put her finger in an electrical socket. But she wanted me to do it again so I did and she quickly had an orgasm - much quicker than with my usual tongue-flicking. Follow these instructions and I think she’ll thank you for it in the morning.

A couple things to be aware of. 1) She might or might not experience female ejaculation when she cums. If the idea of getting it on your face, and maybe even your mouth, freaks you out then maybe you should look for your fun and games elsewhere. 2) It’s hard work. Scrunching up your lips and buzzing as hard as you can for 30, 60, 90 seconds at time, non-stop for 5 or more minutes can be exhausting. I suggest making a few practice buzzes to get your lip loose.

First, give me a good ol’ Bronx cheer/raspberry, technically called a “bilabial fricative.”  Purse your lips, keeping them loosey-goosey and blow but

DON’T BLOW INTO HER VAGINA! It could cause an embolism which can be FATAL.

You should produce a flappy sound. Now do it again but this time squeeze your lips tighter and buzz harder to make a more intense, higher pitch sound. It might help to put your lips on the top of your hand to have something to buzz against. It’s the same technique that trumpet players use to blow their horns. Quickly take another deep breath and do it again for as long as you can. Inhale deeply but quickly each time to maintain the buzzing with minimal interruption.

Like anything daring and new you have to ease into it gradually. Start with a light, low flappy buzz. This is where technique comes in. Like that trumpet player, you’re utilizing your embouchure which is the collection of muscles around the mouth that control the lips. By flexing those muscles in different ways you make your lips open, close, smile, sneer, pout, spit, suck, kiss and, along with many other things, buzz.

You’re going to tighten and relax your lips to produce different intensities and sensations. A loose-lipped buzz makes a flapping sound like a whoopee cushion. For the woman (of course all women are different) it’s like the feeling of a booming bass drum - a deep, sonorous thrumming that sets up a low vibration, dispersing around the whole body at once.

Next, tighten your lips and buzz harder. The sensation becomes more intense and focused. It’s the move that’s going to make her cum the quickest but it can also be too much. She might need you to let up for a minute so she can retreat and regroup before she allows you to proceed.

An essential part of the technique is that you have to read her signs, her responses, when to slow down, when to speed up, what variation to apply when. You have to learn what she wants.  Keep going until she has an orgasm, which, I think you’ll find will be quite intense.

It’s takes some practice and and sustained effort but it’s amazing what it can do for her.

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