The at work phone voice

The at work phone voice is the voice that people affect when they answer phones and have to be nice to the people calling, usually with a scripted response, such as:

Thank you for calling Cubicle Farm X, this is Jen...?

I have been doing some form of computer support or another since I was 19, and my phone voice has slipped its way into my personal life as well. Not a 6 month period goes by that I don't answer my home phone with some corporate jingle and then become so nauseated that I just hang up on whoever called me. People seem to think they got the wrong number. Fine by me.

I think the most annoying thing about the at work phone voice is that it develops its own cadence - check out the movie Office Space and listen to the chick from corporate accounts payable - she's got a good beat and you can dance to it. I hate hearing myself do that.

The "at work phone voice" also embarrasses you while you're at work. This occurs when you use your super polite, eager-to-help voice while saying your corporate thang, and then it turns out to be your flatmate calling to ask you to get McDonalds or beer on the way home.

Of course, they then tease you about your "helpful" phone voice for weeks and as a result you want to answer the work phone sassily every time, like "I don't give a damn who you are, I'm gonna treat you BAD" just in case it's them again. But you can't, because what if it's your boss?

Or then there's the whole "Good morning/ afternoon/ evening" debacle, which can be tragic when you say "good morning", look at your watch and realise it's 12:10, then try to fix your error and talk over the top of whoever is on the other end of the line. Invariably, you sound like an idiot who needs flash cards every time you talk to someone you aren't familiar with.

This can leave you very flustered and unable to deal with your customer's needs to the best of your ability. I say an automatic answering message, full of good will and helpfulness, is needed. Then you can launch in with "Yeah, whaddaya want? and people will take it as charming eccentricity.