The company way of life

A corporate culture; the atmosphere at work.

Some examples:

• 80s technology sector - Cheese doodles, orange soda, and grubby clothing. Highly permissive "Montessori Method" environment. "Just go out there and do something insanely great."
• 80s financial sector - Cocaine, loose sex, harming others indiscriminately. Highly anal about time management. Close management of subordinates to the point of internal bleeding, i.e. documenting each time someone is three minutes late.
• Quizro's Island Monarchy - Goes on the premise that everyone is an adult. One should be responsible, be meticulous about one's work for the work's sake; active management should be unnecessary, or at least undesirable.
• 90s dotcoms - Promise them everything; deliver nothing. Feast off of young people's dreams of a successful IPO. Offer the friendly-seeming atmosphere of the 80s technology sector: foosball, free Coke machines. Unfortunately, they also offer a chance for you to work 120 hours a week with 8 hours of sleep on future promises of glory, and the chance to eat a paycheck when they don't make payroll.

You are not an employee, you are a citizen. There is a code: read it, learn it, and live it. The posters in your workspace are not decoration, they define and reinforce your identity. You are a representative of the company twenty-four hours a day, and all that you do reflects on its reputation. Have faith that our executives guide us wisely and well, and continue to do so until they are fired by others who, in firing them, are also acting wisely and well.

In return for your allegiance, we will take care of you and your family. We understand that your daughter needs braces; we will provide for that. We will help you pay off your crushing debt. Backed by the full power and authority of the company, we are prepared to make you an offer you can't refuse.

Here is the employment form, and a pen. It has our company logo on it--feel free to take it with you. There will be many pens from now on.