My sister and I used to play the desert island game.
When we thought someone was being nasty, we would ask each other, would you rather be stranded on a desert island with X or with Y? Ok, we were being nasty too, but it made us both laugh.
The hands down winner of the game has the distinction of saying five of the top ten meanest things that anyone has ever said to me in my life so far.... and worse to my sister.
We both agreed we would rather be stranded on a desert island with our own ex-husbands than this man. Yet I think he would say that he was teasing and we just can't take a joke.
Here are his jokes:
When I first met him, he was asking why I became a physician. He seemed interested and I was giving a more in depth explanation when he interrupted me: "You became a doctor because you want to make a lot of money!" I stared at him, shocked, and he turned and walked off.
The last time I saw him, I was telling him about the paintball game my son and I had joined in as a celebration of my son's good grades. He interrupted: "I wouldn't want to be around the kind of person who plays paintball!" He did not laugh. I stopped talking about it. I thought, well, I guess you don't want to be around me or my son. I did not stop to visit much after that.
There are others with me, but it's the ones he said to my sister that I can't forget.
My sister was telling him about her Master's program. Interruption: "You'll be lucky to finish!" She was so mad and hurt that she fantasized about mailing him a copy of her diploma. She did finish, too. So there.
And lastly, she came to see me after the breast cancer recurred. She said, "This one hurt so much that I just started laughing. He said: "You just got breast cancer to get attention from the family." I laughed because all the chemo and radiation and surgery and drugs....it hurt so much it was unimaginable."
I said, "Chris, if I had been there, I would have punched him in the face for that one, as hard as I could." I am glad I wasn't there. And I will not go back. If that is teasing that I should be able to take, he can go to hell.