I thought I'd learned that lesson
But no
The Beloved
Knew I had not
Hadn't really faced it
Some small piece
Still wanted to depend
On someone else

Still fused.
Still thinking that you
Who know me so well

Would hear when I say please
I really need you to call
You say I will
I wait by the phone
You don't call

I feel hurt
Anyone would
But my heart doesn't stay broken
I survive
It happens again
And again
Until it occurs to me
That I've been reading Rumi
That we are each entirely part
Of the Beloved
And yet I've been fused to needing you
I don't need you

I love you
I'm not used to not needing you
But I will be soon

first draft: 10/22/06, revised for Iron Noder 2014

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