Findings:
- Don't make me angry, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry
- Women want me when I'm taken
- So I was balls deep in the guy's ass that night when he turns to me and asks for a kiss. Damn. What a fag.
- Don't touch me when I'm screaming
- Fuck me if I'm wrong
- Don't touch me when I'm on a boat
- tied up now fuck me (user)
- They hate me because I'm beautiful
- Tell me what I'm supposed to be feeling
- Crazy People Always Think I'm the Sweetest Guy
- She is stupidly keeping herself a secret, when I know she has sparkly things to show me
- Don't Hug Me I'm Scared
- That moment sometimes when your inner voice just says, "Fuck you. Fuck you all."
- Don't blame me, I'm from Massachusetts
- Tell Me a Story About Giving a Fuck. Tell Me, Everything.
- Is it fair for him to love me when she craves his touch?
- I need these blue and black halos for comfort, to remind me where I am, who I am, when I am
- i'm a wiseguy when I'm drunk
- This guy tipped his waitress a dollar with a dick drawn on it. What happened next left me questioning everything I ever thought about income inequality.
- I think I'm turning into a guy
- This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass!
- Don't get me wrong - I'm a feminist
- I'm up, he sees me, I'm down
- Don't Sit Next to Me, Just Because I'm Gay
- Don't miss me until I'm dead
- Good? Bad? I'm the guy with the gun.
- I remember when it was me who made her toilet flush
- You knew I was a rattlesnake when you picked me up
- You gave me wings when you showed me the birds
- the cutest baker in the room was making sadfaces at me when i walked out
- How Could You Want Him (When You Know You Could Have Me)?
- You touched me when I needed to be touched, and for that I will hold you in my heart forever
- one kiss: bad for me, but i give in so easily. i'm weak.
- Just because I'm nice to her doesn't mean I want to fuck her
- I'm the Bad Guy
- When I'm Sixty-Four
- Correct me if I'm wrong, and if I am, I'll eat a bug
- Aw, Mom, ya know I'm not like other guys; I'm nervous and my socks are too loose
- You Burn Me Up I'm a Cigarette
- I'm so sorry my brain works that way
- Take me drunk, I'm home
- I'm sorry I was speeding, officer, but I really have to get to the hospital
- Gosh! That single kiss made me feel like I'm charged up with the power of a million exploding suns!
- this writeup made me hungry like DAMN so I'm chinging it!
- Love me till your heart stops. Love me till I'm dead.
- I know more when I'm alone
- I'm beginning to think that nothing I think or say makes sense to anyone but me
- I would've taken an axe to it, but I'm pretty sure the dryad would have pulverized me
- When I'm at my computer.
- Forgive me for who I am when I wake up
- She dumped me when she found out I'd been faking my Scottish accent
- But I'm a good person! Yeah great you wanna help me with this or what?
- I'm happy but you don't like me
- when you're ready to touch me again
- When I asked Anna to marry me
- When I was little my mother told me not to sit close to the T.V., so when I was six I did.
- man when you are telling me how it was
- When you met me, when I met you
- When You Reach Me
- If not me, who? If not now, when?
- You've Asked Me When I Came to Town
- Notice Me, I'm Here
- fuck it, I love you even if I'm gonna feel like shit
- Fuck me till I fart
- Excuse me while I kiss this guy
- Desperate guys who 'talk' me for no apparent reason
- Fuck you I'm going to write poetry about your city
- Fuck Me Like You Mean It
- St. Lucia in This Guy When He Died, Man
- Pizza Equipment Guy (user)
- I'm a decent guy's worst nightmare
- Oh, look at me, I'm so drunk
- I'm a Chicken-Hawk, and I'm gonna eat me some chickens
- I walk around when I'm high
- What do girls think about guys when they catch guys staring at their breasts, but the guy is actually trying to read her shirt?
- fuck me and marry me young
- i enjoy myself most when i'm all alone
- Look at me mammy I'm dancin I'm dancin
- I'm gonna be sad and then I want you to make me laugh
- No one asks me if I'm a Satanist or anything because I take the precaution of wearing a predominantly flannel and hawaiian shirt-oriented wardrobe
- Someone takes care of me and I squirm like I'm caught in a lie
- Don't hate me because I'm evil
- I'm trying to see little old ladies as versions of my mom; it helps me be a better person
- Get Me Away From Here, I'm Dying
- What do I do when I'm alone?
- I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and doggone it, people like me!
- The sheer fact that I'm in a developing country should make me a better person, yes?
- When I'm wearing a bonnet and sipping pretend tea with Miss Ponykins and Zippy the Ugly Zebra, that's when I feel the most like a man
- When I sneeze, I get cross, and when I get cross I'm liable to do something wicked.
- I'm Just Me (user)
- Tell me what God is like, cause I'm starting to forget
- Fuck this; I'm having butter
- I hope they kill me while I'm standing here, so I can die happy.
- I'm taking all I have to take, this taking's gonna shape me
- when i get my shit together i'm going to rule this town
- i feel alive when i'm close to the madness
- Dude, check me out. I'm like a little auditor, a sexy little auditor!
- When your presents give me hives
- I'm gonna miss this light when it's gone. I'm gonna miss this darkness too.
- Strike me down - I'll be everything I'm not
- I remember when it was me who made her skin flush
- When people say "All-American", they seldom mean me.
- Call me back when hair starts growing on his palms
- When You Said, "Remember Me"
- You beat it in me, that part of you/But I'm gonna split us back in two
- You should have killed me when you had the chance
- Whereas a Naked White Man, when I met one, always appear'd a new Object unto me
- I Hate It When It Happens To Me
- Fuck me harder
- I remember when it was me who made you want to take over the world and enslave humanity
- Even I laughed at me when I built this cross-species genetic analyzer. Well I guess I showed myself!
- What will happen to me, when you die?
- I got the feeling the Fairy Council was mad at me when the president knocked over her coffee to get a better grip on my neck
- I cried when I wrote this song, sue me if I play too long
- He made me promise I would do this when I was next sad. So I promised myself I would not be sad again.
- The rock under my foot that told me I was real when I was an adult
- He comforted me when he thought I needed it, but never when I really did
- when strangers tell me to smile
- fuck me gently with a chainsaw
- fuck you I'm an anteater
- fuck you pay me
- Fuck you, I'm a Hindu
- If you EVER come across an empty floor, just know that I'm gonna fuck you up.
- glitter me the fuck up, skinny jeans
- Two Guys, a Girl & a Pizza Place
- What Italian guys are really talking about when they say "Ey Oh"
- May the world be a better place when I wake up
- The good guys and the bad guys were on the back of the boat and I swear I only turned my back for a MINUTE but when I came back, they'd killed Mozart.
- when fake deaf guys attack
- Ten "extra toppings" received by the "20 fun things to do while ordering a pizza" guy
- Smile at guys, for me
- Some guy tried to buy drugs from me last night
- When the best rapper was white, the best golfer was black, and the tallest guy in the NBA was Chinese
- Don't Sit Next to Me Just Because I'm Asian
- I'm so toasty, you could spread jam on me
- If my roommate doesn't keep his hands off my shit, I'm gonna fuck him up
- Fuck me like you fucked that horse
- How to tell when a guy just wants to be friends
- She Fucks Me
- I'm so shallow, a new t-shirt makes me happy
- I asked a friend to draw me, and I'm scared of what I'll see
- I'm not in love, set me free
- When I'm long dead, the bee will win
- Maybe I'm naive but this type of website bugs me
- I'm a bloke. Shoot me.
- When the aliens attack my workplace, I'm going to be so damn READY
- I'm changing the climate! Ask me how
- Stop saying "religion" when you mean "a particular religion about which I'm bitter"
- Roll me over and fuck me again
- Fuck me
- Don't get me wrong; I'm not a feminist
- When I'm swept up by the Rapture, grab the wheel of my pick-up
- Fuck Me General Public Disclaimer
- I'm a celebrity... get me out of here!
- Break me. I'm elated.
- Dude, check me out. I'm like a little otter, a sexy little otter!
- Fuck you; I won't do what you tell me!
- You nature lover / you country punk / you bowl me over / I'm not that drunk
- I'm waiting for what will make me stand still the rest of my life
- It’s memories that I’m stealing, but you’re innocent when you dream
- The monster stares back at me. I'm still young enough to believe that, with the right shoes, I can outrun it.
- Do you love me now, Daddy? Do you think I'm pretty?
- I'm always breathless when you call
- Shag Me, I'm Famous
- Nobody fly with me; I'm cursed
- Kiss Me, I'm Chris
- How can I talk about love when the bacon is burned and the house is an absolute mess and the children are screaming their heads off and I'm going to miss my bus?
- Don't rush me, I'm fragile
- I'm angry, and tired, and sad, and I just don't want to deal with it right now, so fuck off
- I always sound Irish when I'm trying to be charming
- I'm burning too brightly, begging you to smother me.
- It is safe to say that I'm going to get my payback if he is anything like me.
- finding my way back to sanity again, though I don't really know what I'm going to do when I get there
- Fuck me boots
- I'm Harriet Harman, you know where you can get me
- The voting system doesn't work because I'm drunk and that fucks it up
- When you make your own mother cry you know you've fucked up
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