The power of positive reinforcement

I believe that all children raised under positive reinforcement only, by their parents become the most likeable and successful people.

I, myself, have only been under negative reinforecment by my parents, but have been exposed to much positive reinforcement by teachers, coaches, and friends. What a difference it makes. If a kid never thinks he will fail, will he ever? If she isn't ever told that she is intelligent and beautiful, will she believe that she is?

Parents are the ultimate control over how a kid turns out for awhile. The most polite and personable little children are brought up by the most polite and personable parents. The bratty little children who run around screaming their heads off, are brought up by parents who yell at their kids and tell them only what they are doing wrong. What they are doing wrong isn't always the point, how easily they forget what is done right.

I think that if i was brought up with only positive reinforcement my entire childhood, i would be a much different and happier person. I wouldn't have deep rooted bitterness, and i wouldn't be so difficult. I do what i want because my parents have twisted my mind so much that i don't know what i can or can't do anymore. It's a sad thing when parents tell you that you can't achieve something, or you can't become something, or that you will never succeed in anything.

I agree that positive reinforcement is indeed very important thoughout childhood, but it's not the end to all problems. My father had very little positive reinforcement while growing up, and I think he's turned out reasonably well. I was lucky enough to receive lots of encouragement, but that hasn't helped much with my insecurities and bitterness. I'm definately better off than I would be if I hadn't had support, but it doesn't necessarily make you more happy or less bitter. In my case, much of the negative reinforcement was internalized to balence out the positiveness I was receiving.

I think there's a subtle line between positive reinforcement and idol worship. It's always helpful to get positive reinforcement in pretty much any situation. Though I've seen kids who have turned out terribly because they have never been told when they've done something wrong or even remotely socially unacceptable.

I mean, maybe these people will turn out to be geniuses thanks to the fact that nobody has ever told them to do anything differently, or maybe they'll get a really harsh reality check from somebody who has had even more "positive reinforcement" than them. These things always work in gradations. In any case, it's pretty funny to watch.