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It's a Catholic phrase they rarely say anymore (probably because it makes sense): "Bless my thoughts, my words, and my feelings." Those of you who've been to those masses know where it used to be said--at the part where everybody kind of fumbles, where you're actually supposed to be drawing a cross on your forehead, lips, and chest. That's where the words used to go. They probably got cut when the clergy decided Latin wasn't PC enough. It sounds a lot better in Latin.

So. Ever try it?

I'll warn you now, emotions and thoughts are extremely difficult to control by force of will alone. It's like slowing your heart-rate or meditating down your blood pressure. Takes lots of work. But, for those of you who want to know how it feels to be sacred, even a little, I dare you to try it with your words.

I decided to try it, not for religious reasons but because it might make me happier. "Hmm," I thought, "If I don't let myself SAY negative things, maybe my focus will shift a bit towards the positive things and keep my from killing someone during this extremely awful time in my life." Hell, it was worth a try--I was so pissed all the time that I was ready to do something seriously illegal to the next fuckhole that gave me a dirty look.

I'll keep the suspense short. It works. It takes a little concentration for a day or two, but nothing difficult. If what you're about to say isn't something you'd consider "Sacred Speaking", don't say it. Whatever that means for you is how it works. For instance, I still swear quite a lot, because I like to and I don't see anything irreverent about saying that the sunset is fucking beautiful. But I don't say things like, "This sucks", or "What an asshole"--if I can't find a way to say it that would sound good from Buddha's lips, I just shut up.

HOW does it work, you ask? What does this little exercise DO? Well, I'd love anybody else who tries it for a few days or so to write their results here, but I'll tell you what it does for me.

I regret what I've said a lot less, and when I do regret saying something, it's such a rare thing that I actually get up and go apologize for it.
My husband is in heaven because I no longer "bitch" (spew little complaints about dissatisfying things). And when I do complain, shit gets done.
In four days, more than five people have commented on my new "pleasantness", even though I haven't changed my views on anything--just the words. Oh, and three folks have decided that I'm some sort of guru, because when you do this sacred speech thingy, you do end up sounding like G from Holy Man.

I suppose this wouldn't be any fun at all if you were a bland, "nice" person normally, with no controversial opinions or anything. It's much more interesting for us sarcastic motherfuckers, I think. But I'll let you guys decide on the demographics.

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