Theories of Minnesota

Some people will try to tell you that Minnesota is a rather cold place near North Dakota and Winnipeg, full of lakes and snow and things like that.  Having been a Geography major, I know the value of testing a scientific theory.  I offered several theories as to the nature of Minnesota, but people invariably rejected them.

• Minnesota is a small South American banana republic near Paraguay.
• Minnesota is the second highest peak of the Tibesti¹ range, slightly smaller than Emi Koussi.
• Minnesota was the name of the opulent annex that the Ottoman Sultan was planning to build onto his palace in celebration of his regaining the entire Balkan Peninsula in the wake of victory in World War I.
• Minnesota is the name of a medium-sized crater on the inside pole of the planet Mercury, filled with molten lead.

I will soon send out surveys to determine via statistical analysis what the best psychophysical explanation of Minnesota might be. Watch your mailboxes.

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¹In the middle of the Sahara, on the border between Libya and Chad.