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My name is Berhardt Goats (friends call me Behr) and I am sensible. I am probably one of the few sensible people that you know on account of a lot of people not having sense (liberalism). Luckily for us who are sensible, we now have effective and sensible leadership in the White House (finally).

I make a lot of money in the business world. I have a lot of irons in a lot of fires and some of them are hotter than others. Some business ideas don't work out (I had a scheme involving selling used toys to homeless children but that didn't work out on account of them being cash poor). Other business ideas, like my company Civil War Action Figures, LLC, which pretended to manufacture action figures based on historical persons from the American Civil War (not the lame English one) and got people to invest $70,000 each to get in on the ground floor. I also made a lot of money selling defective vacuum cleaners to elderly shut-ins. My new business is one I have gone into with my friends Chopper and The Slow Kid because I need their muscle and straightforwardness. What we do is wait for sickly people outside of pharmacies, the sicker the better, and then we beat the living shit out of them, take their prescriptions and sell them on the street for big profits. It is a win-win situation for everyone involved. They are already sick and dying and our very, very severe beatings get them closer to where they need to go (the grave), we save taxpayers a lot of money supporting these people, and we have a new and profitable business. The other day we did a mercy kill on a man with cancer who protested our beating to the point where we misused the jaws of life to permanently break his jaw to shut him up. Then Chopper said he was bleeding out, so we threw him in a dumpster. We made a cool $800 selling his prescriptions through the free market system.

If you are a liberal you probably have issues with this, but there are none. It is what we call "fake news." Thankfully, many are now coming around to realizing this. The world is changing. Don't get left behind in the muddy patches of disgusting liberalism.

I can best make my point by telling you that a few weeks ago I went for a long drive around Maryland. During this drive I was able to count a total of sixteen cows. There are something like seven million people in Maryland. How can we feed seven million people with sixteen cows? And when they are eaten, what then? We are in trouble. There are too many people and most of them are living off the government, which gets its money by unfairly taxing hard working people like me. Sad.

We need to start killing off non-working people and people who are defective in any way, whether it is illness or weird sex practices. Whatever makes you different from what is expected from being American should result in your death. No questions, no hassles, and no second chances. It will be this way soon. We just have to get over our repulsive liberalism, move to a one-party system, eliminate opposition, and embrace The Constituion as it was originally written in 1776. 1976, you may remember, was a bi-centennial year.

I sold my soul for a $50 store credit at Nordstrom's and a case of natural casings hot dogs (frankfurts) about twenty years ago. It was a good deal. Those hot dogs (frankfurts) were delicious, but one of the valuable lessons I learned from that deal was that you can't get anything for free. I had to sell my soul for that $50 store credit at Nordstrom's and those hot dogs (frankfurts). That was the cost of doing business, but we are not teaching this any longer, just as we are no longer teaching work ethic. A lot of people will have to die. There are not enough cows to continue the way we are going.

Perhaps death on such a scale is a little rash, at least for starters, but I put forth at a recent political convention that the penalty for liberalism should start with genital mutilation. Imagine how high our great President Donald Trump's already high popularity ratings would soar if we televised liberals having a metal rope tied around their scrotum (nut sack) and then hooking that metal rope up to a water buffalo or some kind of yak and watching the hilarity that results. This is what will help Make America Great Again, and give us something good on television for a change. I think we all agree that there is too much crap on television. We ought to get the government out of our lives and have one, state run television channel that is censored by President Trump and trusted associates who have sworn a loyalty pledge.

We can also close entertainment choices like ball games, movies and zoos to anyone making less than six figures in annual income. This would help them to get up off their chairs, stop being lazy, and get jobs. It is disgusting that I still see people with nose rings at the movies in this day and age. That should have been eliminated years ago. We are letting people get away with too much. If I can be an optimist for a minute, there may be a chance to save these people, but they must pull themselves up by their bootstraps. They can get a job, or start their own business like I have, and I am the son of a mother from Palestinian stock and a father who worked for the German government in the 1930s and 1940s. I came to this country as a legal immigrant. I had papers. I didn't come in a paper boat or in a shoe thrown over a wall. I did it the right way. I should live.

Anyone looking for entertainment choices like the ones named above (but not limited to) should be redirected to work camps when they are looking for "fun." Give them a shovel or a pile of rocks and beat them with baseball bats and ball peen hammers to remind them of the principles this country was founded on. Then lets see if they try to go to a ball game again before they are making at least six figures a year. There are not enough cows.

I also have an idea that can be tried prior to mass executions that involves rectangles. Picture liberal types trying to live off the government being confined to a room and forced to connect a series of rectangles, each rectangle more perplexing that the last, and make them keep doing it until the boss is satisfied. Mistakes will be dealt with through the use of a ball peen hammer on the offender. Not making at least six figures a year? Connect these rectangles.

I would also like to see white collar crime dismissed and all regulations removed from business and banking. It is hard enough making a buck in today's liberal world without this nonsense. People who make at least six figures a year should also be legally permitted to kill, by any means possible, those making less than six figures a year. I think we can find a way to mark these people who don't make enough to qualify for the limited food supply (as represented by the cows) so that those of us who work hard and make over six figures a year can know who we can kill legally. This would be a great way to push personal achievement and not leave it to the government to kill off millions the way they will have to if we don't take matters into our own hands.

Please call President Trump today and thank him for the hard work he has done is righting the ship we call America. Despite his 87% approval rating, it still hurts him that 33% of the people don't approve and he is doing a great job. Thank the heavens for Him. Having God incarnate not only walk among us, but become our President is a true medical miracle. And bless you, friends. Bless you for helping make it happen. Keep the faith. It will all happen soon as long as we keep supporting our president.

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