Things Musicals Have Taught Me

There are 525,600 minutes in a year. (Rent)
A noose can make a pretty good murder weapon. (Phantom of the Opera)
Seductions in Paris can cause impotence. (Victor/Victoria)
Love transcends gender. (Victor/Victoria)
Having sex with a desperate prostitute can come back to haunt you later. (Miss Saigon)
The sun will come out tomorrow. (Annie)
If your ocean liner has struck an iceberg...sing about it! (Titanic)
Sometimes altruistic sacrifice just means the jerk gets the girl. (Tim Rice's Beauty and the Beast)
Attitude can take you far in life.(Evita)
So can naive charm. (My Fair Lady)
But no matter what, don't challenge the blind kid to pinball. (Tommy)
A pirouette can be macho. (West Side Story) -Evil_Catullus
Sleeping your way to the top of a fascist empire can be fun and easy. (Evita) - Evil_Catullus
Death is the best solution to unrequited love (Les Miserables) - Impartial
Fishnets are alien mind control devices. (RHPS) - Impartial
The farmer and the cowman should be friends (Oklahoma) - sphere777

Feel free to /msg me with lessons you have learned from musicals.

Old technology is better than new technology. (Starlight Express)
Prancing and leaping with limbs akimbo is an effective form of gang warfare. (West Side Story)
Felines do indeed have multiple lives. (Cats)
Jesus could have been a rock star. And Pontius Pilate, for that matter. (Jesus Christ Superstar)
You really do have a valid reason to be terrified of dentists. (Little Shop of Horrors)
Eat vegetables and plants, because they would eat you. (Little Shop of Horrors)
Life is a caberet. (Cabaret)
Human flesh is tasty. EDB knew it all along. (Sweeny Todd)

Nellie and Lt. Cable muse about their respective ill-fated loves... Nellie: "Did you ever get a letter from your mother telling you everything you do is wrong?" Lt. Cable: "Actually, my mother thinks everything I do is right...but I don't tell her everything I do." (excerpted from Rodgers and Hammerstein's 'South Pacific')

Would life be easier if we lived in a musical? It certainly seems so, at times. Despite the usual quota of death, unrequited love, love lost, love star-crossed, love forbidden, love forgotten, love ill-begotten, etc...the guy generally gets the girl in the end, while saving the world from certain disaster.

When I think of all the awkward moments I've endured, deafening silences, speechless, inarticulate, brimming with unexpressed emotion, paralysed by overanalysis, wishing I could convey my thoughts and feelings to the person sitting inches from me..and all I had to do was SING! Hell, it worked for Emile and Nellie, Maria and Baron von Trapp, Maria and Tony, Eliza and Professor Higgins...why not me?

Perhaps the next time I'm marooned on a desert island, fleeing the Nazis, dancing my way out of a puerto rican gang and all the while trying to perfect my english accent, I'll try it.