The coffee cup is half full of coffee, I tell him, and he throw
s it off the roof.
This is important. The other thing that's important is that we're in a city, and that cup fell 34 stories.
"You're playing your life through some kind of phonograph
to death. It's not even yours at this point, you're not living. You're letting the forces of the world
compose your song."
I ask him if he just fucking threw that coffee cup off the roof.
"You have to understand that you can't do this. That you exist entirely without purpose
and that nothing matters. Matters is a social idea
. Purpose is a manmade invention
. And, above all, you can't prove a damn thing."
I think about how it's a little hypocritical to give me a purpose of defying purpose if there's no such thing.
"Every man is a masochist
on some level. Because anyone who isn't living the perfect life knows damn well that every step away from it is a mark they chose that brings them that much closer to death."
I tell him how I like that.
"Well that's fucking great, but the point is it's utterly impractical. Masochism was an idiotic idea, because it's damn near synonymous with humanity. Every human doesn't want to die, but we measure it all in these tiny doses. Oh, it's not going to kill me...now..."
I tell him thanks scare tactics religious guy
"What works with 100% efficiency? What is 100% organized?"
I tell him nothing.
"Exactly right. Nothing, the absence of everything, is utter efficiency. Nothing is absolute perfection. It is completely flawless in every aspect. It is absolute organization and total logic. Nothing is rational. Nothing is the exact opposite of everything. Nothing is the other side of this."
This kind of blows my mind, because the bastard's right.
"Therefore, we are in the land of things. Of anti-nothing. Absolute opposite of rationality. By making the world entirely mechanized, you make it dead. Death isn't quite nothing, but it's close. So imposing absolute systemization, and willingly obeying it, will end us all. Absolute order is the return to nothing. Order will be the end of the world. So I'm going to fling myself into irrationality. To save it all."
And on top of that, he's the new Jesus
I just kind of stare blankly over the edge of the building toward the sky.
The door behind us opens, and I whip around to see three guys carrying a tree out onto the roof. I ask, in shock, if that is a fucking tree.
"Yes, but, is this tree half empty or half full?"