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To kill yourself with a cannonball
Requires a grim determination;
A devotion quite beyond the norms
Of self-extermination.

Contrary to more mundane means,
It’s important that you show
A knack for holding on to things,
As opposed to letting go.

To drown oneself with a nine-pound shot
Takes physical precision.
It’s not the sort of thing one tries
If prone to indecision.

To grasp the sphere with both hands firm
Is an easy proposition,
But to lift it clear and cross the deck
With a hangman’s erudition,

Then scale the rail’s see-sawing height
With both hands occupied,
And take your leap into the swell
Before your mates have spied,

Well, it’s really quite a trick to pull.
I can’t blithely recommend it.
Though truth be told, there’s poetry
In such a strange, stark way to end it.

So hold on tight for as long you’re able
While you watch the heavens recoil.
Only drop your weight when it’s too late
To hope your plan might spoil.

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