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Breakfast pastry made by Pillsbury

I really like these things. They taste good and they're not too expensive. I'm a freezer junky, so these fit me just fine.

The Commercial

The only commercial I've seen for these was, I believe, on Cartoon Network. The commercial itself doesn't make all that much sense; it's typical American-family-at-home gibberish. The central message of the commercial, though, is that Toaster Strudels are better than Pop Tarts, or at least the unfrosted ones. I fully concur.

The Pastry

Toaster Strudels are structurally much the same as pop tarts. The Toaster Strudle is a simple beast; it is essentially two flat layers of pie crust filled with 'fruit filling', which is a thick colored goo of questionable origins. This is (optionally) topped with frosting that, unfortunately for the Toaster Strudels, only comes in one color! Woe to those who dare to sell only one color of frosting! This is all structurally much the same as a pop tart, in the same way that a brownie is structurally similar to a brick.

First of all, the crust of a Toaster Strudel is actually worth eating. It's flaky and thick and actually resembles known bread substances like pie crust or Pillsbury's flaky biscuits. The filling is also superior; it doesn't just taste like sugar. Last but not least, the frosting is not just white stuff that tastes vaguely like sugar, (To hell with those sprinkles!) but is gooey and yummy and generally a very noticeable part of the whole 'toaster pastry' experience.

The Packaging and The Preparation

Toaster Strudels are packaged frozen. Yes, it's another box in your already full freezer. Yes, it will take a little longer to heat up. I'm not certain why these are kept frozen; could it be (Oh, could it be?) that these are made from ingredients that wouldn't last as long at room temperature? I don't know, but I would like to think so.

The process of preparing a Toaster Strudel is pretty complex; it may, in fact , be too complex for the end user. That is to say, these things were made so that only the Toaster Strudel Development Team can really understand them. I'm referring to the fact that you don't just have to put these things in the toaster, you also have to distach one(1) of the icing packets, open it up, and squeeze it out onto your pastry. It's not just a part of the commercials! It's true! So, if you don't think you can handle it, just remove the disk and reboot. I mean just buy Pop Tarts. What is it I'm babbling about?

I have this to say, though, of the frosting packets: These things are too fucking hard to remove and open. I'm not a dummy. I'm working on my fourth toaster strudel, and the frosting packet gets mangled every time! I end up having to unevenly frost my Toaster Strudel. I should note that this has no effect on performance. I mean on taste. No effect on taste.

What are you waiting for? Go eat a Toaster Strudel!

Toaster Strudels is a trademark of the Pillsbury company. Pop Tarts can suck it.

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