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"You mean you're not a doctor?"

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"Well, you're lucky you only got it on your face, my dear! If it was your larynx that swelled up you'd be in real trouble, let me assure you!"

"Yepph, I pphuppophe pho".

"And whether using ranitidine in addition to diphenhydramine is worthwhile in this situation, well, that's debatable, but there is evidence that it gives a marginal benefit. The emphasis being on marginal!"

"Oh Ppphay".

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"Just make yourself useful and take this down to pathology, will you?"

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"You're all students, then?"

"Yep, looks like you're not special enough for a real doctor, hey!"

"Well, just don't let that old bastard back in. I thought I was gonna tear holes in the mattress when he put that local in."

"I think we just need to trim this fat a bit before we close it. You're not feeling this, are you?"

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"Impression? Ah, just put query vaso-vagal, query dehydration, query fucked-if-I-know."

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"It's always you big blokes with tats that can't handle needles."

"It don't hurt, it just don't feel right!"

"You can't fool me, your heart rate's right there on the monitor."

"BEING A SOOK IS HE, DARL?"

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"My strangest admission … Well, there was a guy on ice who pulled out his eyeball in the triage room. Just, pop."

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"I didn't wanna talk about this with my missus around, but ever since the op … the old fella, it just don't wanna work."

"Hmm, but how would you rate your chest pain, from one to ten?"

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"How's things here?"

"Quiet."

"Oh you shit, you've said the q word. Now the bloody ambulance is coming."

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"So, how long till you're a doctor then, matey?"

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