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A great friend of mine once told me to drop what I was doing and jump into his car.  Andrew’s life was anything but passive.  Control, desire, and life resonated in his energy.  He knew nothing of selfish actions and made his life mean more to his friends and family than it meant to himself.  He gave carelessly and criticized mercilessly.  If your image was anything less than enviable, he let you know.  And most of all, Andrew was a dreamer.  He dreamed of a better now and greater tomorrows.  Plans he made for himself and the people in his life were great and nearly unreachable, but piece by piece, he started to draw them together, until a week ago.  Andrew was killed in an explosion during a military operation in Iraq

It’s funny how a lifetime can suddenly pass you by.  In an instant you’re propelled from the womb into the fires of hell we have come to call life.  Take a chance, or don’t.  It’s your choice, live it how you want.  But by God, make a choice.  With endless possibilities, playing of the game is more important than the result.  There is no winning, no losing, only the consequences.  Maybe it’s the opportunities that hinder or help to define ourselves.  But would you partake in a life of bounded dreams? 

Why do we sell ourselves short when the “consequences” of success are so glorified?  An attempt at the unknown ends in one of two ways:  the top of the world or a bottomless pit of heartbreak and denial.  The hardest working muscle in our body becomes the most fragile in times of defeat.  It’s a mentality thing and sometimes I wonder if I have what it takes.  It's human nature to question ourselves, right?  So here I sit at the computer screen, writing yet another eulogy (note the sarcasm) to my daily routine.  Maybe I’ll go back to bed and make everything better with time.

But even now, Rome is burning, and here I lay in apathy.  Confusion drives the night.  Even a clear conscience cannot silence the endless conversation inside.  I feel but know not what it means to feel.  I think I understand but know nothing.  I love, but will never know the meaning.  It’s a faceless world, yet day by day we stare it nose to nose. 

Too many times, I look outside to see floating grey skies, wind howling and rain spitting on the gravel.  The morning awoke to the bickering of gulls over hocks of bread left out in the morning to rot.  Before, that would trouble me, but it’s all smiles on the inside because somewhere out there, this world is spinning.  So I happily await the morning.  Tomorrow, the sun may shine.

 

Thank you for your life, you’ve shaped mine.

 

 

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