This is it folks, May 6th, 2001 -
I'm nineteen years old.
Looking back, I can't remember the last time I threw a birthday party, not because I didn't want to, but simply because every year something went wrong and one didn't take place. This year I choose to do
absolutely nothing, nada, just sit back and relax. Surprisingly enough, many old friends somehow remembered it's my
birthday and called. I never expected them to call, but they all did, and they'll never know how much happiness their calls brought me.
I can't put in words how relaxed I feel, nothing is holding me now, finished high school, not planning to
join the Israeli mandatory military and having a job doing what I like, I pretty much see no reason to go
back to school, at this point of my life.
Knowing that nothing holds me, I can finally do all those things I wished to do, amongst which are scuba
diving, sky diving, see the world a bit, the possibilities seem endless.
What will I do now?
I honestly can't say, and that's the whole beauty of it, not knowing what the future has in stored for us. Maybe I'll get hit by a truck today, maybe a satellite will fall on me, who knows.. What keeps me so relaxed is the fact that at some point in the past year I truly accepted the fact that I am going to die, and I believe that if I'll manage to achieve more pleasure than anything else in the time I have left I'll be a happy man.
This might sound as if I feel I have all the answers, but I don't, I know I don't. I know that in a year my whole perspective on life could change and that's what excites me so much. I feel that life is worth dying for and thus I promise, to myself, not to hold back, not to be afraid and accept what life throws at me.
I cannot but wonder what I'll think of this write-up in a year, given it won't be removed by then.
"This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time." -- Narrator, Fight Club