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Act IV, Scene 1

The Street before OLIVIA'S House

Enter SEBASTIAN and FESTE.

FESTE
Will you make me believe that I am not sent for you?

SEBASTIAN
Go to, go to, thou art a foolish fellow;
Let me be clear of thee.							5

FESTE
Well held out, i' faith! No, I do not know you; nor I am not
sent to you by my lady, to bid you come speak with her; nor your
name is not Master Cesario; nor this is not my nose neither.--
Nothing that is so is so.

SEBASTIAN
I prithee vent thy folly somewhere else. Thou knowest not me.			10

FESTE
Vent my folly! he has heard that word of some great man, and
now applies it to a fool. Vent my folly! I am afraid this great	
lubber, the world, will prove a cockney.--I prithee now, ungird
thy strangeness, and tell me what I shall vent to my lady. Shall
I vent to her that thou art coming?						15

SEBASTIAN
I prithee, foolish Greek, depart from me;
There's money for thee; if you tarry longer
I shall give worse payment.

FESTE
By my troth, thou hast an open hand:--These wise men that
give fools money get themselves a good report after fourteen			20
years' purchase.

Enter SIR ANDREW, SIR TOBY, and FABIAN.

SIR ANDREW
Now, sir, have I met you again? there's for you.

Striking SEBASTIAN.

SEBASTIAN
Why, there's for thee, and there, and there.					25
Are all the people mad?

Beating SIR ANDREW.

SIR TOBY
Hold, sir, or I'll throw your dagger o'er the house.

FESTE
This will I tell my lady straight. I would not be in some of
your coats for twopence.							30

Exit FESTE.

SIR TOBY
Come on, sir; hold.

Holding SEBASTIAN.

SIR ANDREW
Nay, let him alone; I'll go another way to work with
him; I'll have an action of battery against him, if there be any		35
law in Illyria: though I struck him first, yet it's no matter for that.

SEBASTIAN
Let go thy hand.

SIR TOBY
Come, sir, I will not let you go. Come, my young soldier,
put up your iron: you are well fleshed; come on.

SEBASTIAN
I will be free from thee. What wouldst thou now?				40
If thou darest tempt me further, draw thy sword.

Draws.

SIR TOBY
What, what? Nay, then I must have an ounce or two of this
malapert blood from you.

Draws.									45

Enter OLIVIA.

OLIVIA
Hold, Toby; on thy life, I charge thee hold.

SIR TOBY
Madam?

OLIVIA
Will it be ever thus? Ungracious wretch,
Fit for the mountains and the barbarous caves,				50
Where manners ne'er were preached! Out of my sight!
Be not offended, dear Cesario!--
Rudesby, be gone!--I prithee, gentle friend,

Exeunt SIR TOBY, SIR ANDREW, and FABIAN.

Let thy fair wisdom, not thy passion, sway					55
In this uncivil and unjust extent
Against thy peace. Go with me to my house,
And hear thou there how many fruitless pranks
This ruffian hath botched up, that thou thereby
Mayst smile at this: thou shalt not choose but go;				60
Do not deny. Beshrew his soul for me,
He started one poor heart of mine in thee.

SEBASTIAN
What relish is in this? how runs the stream?
Or I am mad, or else this is a dream:--
Let fancy still my sense in Lethe steep;					65
If it be thus to dream, still let me sleep!

OLIVIA
Nay, come, I prithee. Would thou'dst be ruled by me!

SEBASTIAN
Madam, I will.

OLIVIA
O, say so, and so be!

Exeunt.									70

Twelfth Night III.iv : Twelfth Night IV.ii

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