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Maybe I'm not the only one trying to accomplish a seemingly simple objective who begins to feel the goal is impossible, when dealing with humans with computers.

I ignored the notices for months. My normal procrastination was coupled with a premonition (okay, a hunch) that the "Urgent" advisory wasn't going to apply to my vehicle.

My fifteen year old Ford pickup came with a salvage title. It had been wrecked and repaired. I bought it from the frame shop owner who repaired it. He pointed out that the driver's side airbag had been deployed.

Finally after receiving notices by mail about once a week for months, I called Anthony at our small town Ford dealership. Did Anthony think it would be worth bringing my pickup in under the circumstances? Anthony did.

It took another two or three months to actually make and keep an appointment to have the service department evaluate my vehicle's eligibility for the free airbag replacement. I ended up leaving the truck there overnight and they called me the next day. No go. I asked if I needed to contact Ford Motor Company to let them know, or would they? The Ford dealership's service department would take care of it. Cool.

Two months went by and still the Urgent Airbag Safety Recall notices came at least every week. I stopped back by the Ford place and asked the guy at the service desk. He said he would call them again but to allow at least two weeks for the notices to stop coming

Another two months. The notices are getting more urgent. I go online and there's no option to stop the notices. Lots of stuff about getting the free replacement. I call Ford. After forty-five minutes of music on hold I get a company rep (maybe?) who has a very hard time understanding what I'm calling about. Finally she seems to get it. "You will have to allow up to two weeks," she recites. Okay.

The UASR letters just get more urgent and more frequent. A few more months (years?) pass and this time my wife calls them. "Our agents are experiencing unusually high call volumes and you may experience longer than usual wait times". Sure, no problem. She finally gets through and after explaining the situation again, is told that, "There is nothing we can do". Well, why didn't you just say so. The latest UASR used a new tactic. They have now gone "stealth mode". A plain white envelope with nothing but my name and address. Nothing to hint at who it is from. Opening the envelope, I see what it is and start to send it to the same place the other 789 safety recall letters went, when I notice something different. At the bottom of the computer printout is a handwritten note. It reads as follows:

"I know you have been contacted several times about this safety recall . Please give me a call at the number listed above and I will help you arrange everything!" -Jessica Black, Airbag Recall Team

On the off chance that Jessica may actually be able to follow through on her confident promise to "arrange everything," I call "the number listed above". "Our agents are experiencing unusually high call volumes and you may experience longer than usual wait times," the recording announces. That was yesterday. No, thanks. I guess we will have to allow at least two weeks.

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