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Today I discovered I am one of those things that don't stick around very long. I am soon to be extinct, I am not a mutant for the better: I am a mutant for the worse. My genes suck.

I was walking down the street today, and walking towards me was a dirty looking man, stumbling along with his shirt in his hand, talking to himself. As I was passing him by a crowded outdoor cafe, he said to me, slowly and slurring:

"Hey man! Do you know where der hoshpidal is?"

I had no idea where any hospital was, but nevertheless I rubbed my chin and thought really hard.

"I'm sorry man", I said. "But I don't know."

I started edging away.

"Oh come on! Look! There's a hoshpidal!" he said, pointing at a car dealer's.

Well then, I thought. Problem solved. "Oh, I see. Cool, then you can go there, right?" I said, starting to edge away again.

"Naw, man!" he said. "I'm looking for der other hoshpidal."

I really didn't know where any hospital was, and he might have been looking for a place to buy a porsche anyway, so I just pointed down the road and said "I think there's one down that way."

We stood side by side, staring down the road. It was a mellow moment.

Then he turned to face me, slowly raised his arms with his hands clenched into fists, and said "I'm gonna fucking kill!"

There was an akward silence.

After a while, I asked if it was me was his going to kill, ready to turn and run like shit.

There was another silence, although personally I found this more tense than akward. To him, this was probably a strange moment too, as he had a lot to think about.

"Naw, man." He said, finally. "I'm not gonna kill you."

"Okay, thanks man." I said, turning, and walking away, past the rest of the coffee-consuming onlookers.

Then I felt the rush. Then I felt my knees begin to shake. What the hell's wrong with me? My adrenaline rush comes about 5 minutes late! This is a problem I'm well aware of and worried about. And why didn't I run like fuck before waiting to hear his answer? What if his answer was "YEP!" ? Then he would have reached out the full 6 inches and grabbed me.

And why didn't I call the cops? What if I turn on the news tonight and see "Wilshire Boulevard Murder"? And not only am I going to be the death of me, I'm going to be the death of everyone else too: I saw the I.D. tag on his wrist, why didn't I call an ambulance?

Anyway, even though I made sure he wasn't following me, about 8 blocks later I saw him out of the corner of my eye and about jumped a mile. Turned out it wasn't him though. I'm not too pleased about the way my defence system kicks in only when it doesn't matter......

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