The two
Muppets who have cameos in nearly every
Muppet production involving
Kermit or
Fozzie,
Statler and
Waldorf were named after two
hotels of the same names in
New York City. They are always there to add their
witty commentary to what's going on, and are beloved by
Muppet fans everywhere for their
heckling. Below are a few of their heckles over the years:
Statler: This
show is off to a fast start.
Waldorf: Good, maybe it'll end quicker!
Waldorf: There's something wrong with this
TV!
Statler: What's that?
Waldorf: It's on!
Statler: Why do we need a
VCR you can
program seven years in advance?
Waldorf: So we don't miss any
great shows that are on after we're
dead.
Statler:
There's a lot to be said about this
program.
Waldorf: Too bad you can't say it on a
family show!
Statler: That bit was
breathtaking!
Waldorf: Careful, you may not have many left.
(both laugh)
Statler: Nurse! My
medication! Get my
nitro glycerine!
Clifford: Welcome to "
Muppets Tonight!", the show that has people all over the
country saying...
Both: Where's
the remote!?
Waldorf: You know, they are calling this show a
runaway hit.
Statler: Yeah, when ever it comes on, you wanna run away!
Statler: You know, this show really
improves with age!
Waldorf: Why? Because the
jokes get better?
Statler: No! Because my
hearing gets worse!
Statler: That was quite a
program! I would have only
changed one thing!
Waldorf: What's that?
Statler: The
channel!
Statler: What's the name of that famous song
Tony Bennett sings?
Waldorf: "
I Left My Heart In San Francisco."
Statler: Big deal! I left my teeth in
Minneapolis!
Waldorf: Thank goodness this show is almost over.
Statler: So what happened to that
blue freak on the missile?
a large crash is heard
Waldorf: Woah! Is he all right?
Statler: I don't know, I'll check his pulse.
Waldorf: If he's got one, I'll split it with 'ya!
Statler: I've got an incredible
discovery.
Waldorf: And what's that?
Statler: When you watch this show...
Both: ...it hurts!
Statler: And there you go, there's nothing like
good comedy.
Waldorf: Nothing like it on this
show!
Statler:
Shakespeare would have hated that!
Waldorf: You should know, you dated his sister!
both laugh
Statler: Boy, was she ugly.
Statler: What would you do if you were
a rich man?
Waldorf: I'd buy the
network and
cancel this show!
For a great
article on
Waldorf and Statler, see
http://www.muppetcentral.com/articles/rarelyseen/statler_waldorf.shtml