One of the London boroughs, covering the areas of Wandsworth, Battersea, Balham, Clapham, Tooting, Putney and Roehampton.

It was only a decade or two ago that Wandsworth was viewed as a place you wouldn't want to live in some areas were quite dingy and altogether unpleasant. In recent years however it has become, to put it frankly, an expensive nappy valley, literally there are toddlers everywhere.

Sure now it is a lot safer place to live and has a more wholesome feel to it, especially around Wandsworth Common, but I can't walk my dogs without coming into children riding bikes for the first time and aimlessly riding straight into me, I have to be quick on my toes here. I'm not the sort of person who is a grouch and finds all young 'uns nasty pieces of work. I'm in my teens for god's sake I was almost born yesterday. The area around where I live just doesn't have any activities where some friends and I can relax in peace. There are always children on the common taking up a football pitch when they really don't deserve one and then when i do finally play I break when they ask if they can play, and even if I have the strength of will to say no, there is always one mother who thinks she is some sort of deity and tells me off for not being friendly, Who the hell does she think she is how can she tell me to be friendly?! I generally tell them to piss off but that only means they become incensed and follow me to my home so generally I have to lose their tail before I can get into my house safely.

The area is very middle class, so the father of these families is generally quite reserved while the women (I mean this against no other women then those of Wandsworth Common, you know who you are) have there only private evening clubs where they all visit and gossip about how they are better then all of each other.

The worst thing is they know every single person and all the details about you, good or bad, even if you have never talked to them. When two of these women walk past each other on the street they just start talking for hours on end; it is infuriating because suddenly all the women come together in some kind of congregation in the middle of the road, so I have to find another way to get past.

Now I am forced to go to other areas to seek a respectable environment where people plan beforehand and don't go out on a whim. Other parts of Wandworth are just plain nasty. Balham has improved from the wasteland it once was but it is showing signs of turning into a happy-clappy environment. Battersea is a bit of a dump there are no shops and the houses are all a bit dull, nothing fancy though. Clapham is ok but it is a big place ranging miles on one long linear shape. Old Clapham is a nice quaint palce without the congregations of Wandsworth Common I feel quite melancholy when I go there but its not a place to really spend a Saturday afternoon.

So with the rise of nappy-valley Wandsworth, I am forced to emmigrate to central London and away from those ghastly, ghastly women.

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