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DRINK IF:

The terror alert is elevated (Twice if the terror alert is lowered)
Drink again if the terror elevation is for a 'non-specific threat'
You hear any of the following phrases used on tv -
"Post 9/11 world"
"Our troops"
"Those who hate freedom"
"Links to Al-Quaeda"
John Kerry uses a meaningless phrase containing the word "values"
A conservative declares Iraq a success, citing improved sales of a consumer good
Micheal Moore makes a statement that unintentionally undermines criticisms of the war
Kim Jong-Il has a bad hair day (Drink again if on a bad hair day he threatens the west with 'nuclear fire')
The president refers to himself as 'commander-in-chief'
A politician confuses criticism of them with criticism of troops
Iraq is described as being 'on the brink of chaos' (Drink again if Iraq does descend into chaos)
Day passes without a car bomb exploding in Baghdad
Fox news Channel reporter overestimates threat to America
Everday activity causes mass hysteria on an aeroplane

DRINK TWICE IF:

'Germany' is referred to in a sentence which doesn't also contain 'France'
The tally of US casualties in Iraq is mentioned (Three times if the tally of Iraqi casualties is mentioned)
A reporter's videophone malfunctions
Allawi does something reminiscent of Saddam (Three times if he talks about democracy while doing so)
A politician tackles the North Korean nuclear situation head-on
A terror alert is raised at a politically undesirable time for the President

RUN AROUND NUDE IF:

Osama bin Laden is captured
The Polish troops are mentioned
You have a reason to use your anti-terrorism fridge magnet

RUN FOR PRESIDENT IF:

You have any clue how to fix Iraq (the amount you drink during this game will provide no obstacle to your chances)

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