Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "We will repair or replace, at our option, any device damaged by this battery"

• Do not put this product into the rectum by using fingers or any mechanical device or applicator
• Our children will judge us by our memes
• These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.
• The Tragedy of Prince Hamlet and the Philosopher's Stone, or, A Will Most Incorrect to Heaven by William Shakespeare
• we will replace the stars with machines of our own creation
• exhaust or muffler repair
• You will not reach enlightenment by reading things
• Among strangers who will say so many things to fill our ears
• by any means necessary
• As the crow flies, or as the road winds, I promise you, I will arrive
• The boundary drawn by our skin
• Incarnation, a poem (or something) by polyseeme
• will our souls remember where we said we'd meet?
• You know our love will not fade away
• Disengage Quickly or the Seams Will Become Transparent
• Forgiving our Fathers
• Corny cartoon sunshields will ensure that you're not getting any
• any way, shape or form
• And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead
• Sometimes people will tell you that there are no options and they will be wrong.
• i can't fit it all in but by god, i will keep trying
• ALL WHO STAND IN MY WAY WILL DIE, BY STEEL!!!!!!!
• By hook or by crook
• Everything Quest: You kids stop your fighting or I will turn this car around so help me God
• We Invent Gods That Will Fit in Our Pocket
• Our love is eternal. The night will end. The dragon is forever. Good wil prevail. Mother sits on her throne.
• Only my hours spent gaming will stand between our world and total destruction
• How to find out if ANY number is divisible by eleven
• Our words are backed by nuclear weapons
• I secretly admire Cruella De Vil. PETA will be kicking down my door any second.
• Sex just walked by me, and I didn't get any, dammit
• A rose by any other name would smell as sweet
• Whether by word or deed or thought
• Footwear Repairs by Craftsmen at Competitive Prices
• our voices, once clarion, have been muted by time and mortgages
• Questions will be asked...AND DESTROYED! BY ANSWERS!
• One sock on (or: Getting caught fooling around by the cops)
• She will remember your heart when men are fairy tales in books written by rabbits
• In the movie of his life, the part of Keanu Reeves will be played by a block of wood, and the critics will pan it for being too expressive
• You can't predict or control what incidents in your life your friends will remember and retell
• Do we forgive our fathers in their time or in our time?
• one by one their blades will grind to a halt and stand still like a white forest.
• Swimming pool injury
• If you don't know where you're going, any path will take you there
• Airport games that will get you arrested or beaten
• Race-mixing will happen whether or not you want it
• I cannot be touched by any of this madness
• This moment will never come again. Would you rather enjoy it or complain about it?
• I need your pain or I will not live
• Will perfume or cologne make you more attractive?
• Maybe if we're lucky the person dreaming our lives will wake up
• NODE OR DIE! Can you do any less?
• Our children will laugh at the names of our over-the-counter medicines
• Our warning signs will protect us
• We stole the guest list and replaced it with our own
• Our world will change
• I will REMOVE your "All your radical touching base are already occurred to the lesbian monkey puppy" philosophy on me if you don't eat my soy google balls, hatt-baby. Real or malarky?
• A Tyler By Any Other Name
• Music that is either by the Sonic Youth or by some band that is ripping off the Sonic Youth, but you can't tell which
• Any minute now, you will go blind
• How to determine whether a number is even or odd in any base
• Any exercise can be made harder by going slower
• how to simulate any random variable by tossing a coin
• A Jared by any other name
• By the Skin of Our Teeth
• It is Folly to Measure the True and False by Our Own Capacity
• Changing standards of male beauty purely by force of will
• And our cars all jumped forward like bottles on a table thumped by a drunk
• The male libido - or - How I was castrated by the 90's
• their teary eyes follow us as if our actions are accompanied by tragic music
• The lonely ones will find each other by the heat of their bodies
• World peace is a beautiful dream that will never be achieved by the human race
• One by one we threw our eyes into the sea
• Now is the winner of our discount tent made gory in slumber by this summoned orc
• The classic Warner Brothers cartoon characters have been replaced by lookalikes
• The monsters of the past will be long forgotten by the time the general populace is ever forgiven
• By evening I will have returned all traces that I was ever here
• Or he'll just kick me in the face and scream abstract noises and dance around outside in his underwear and have sex with the neighbor's dog and try to fly by jumping off the toilet
• The square root of any positive integer is either integral or irrational
• You will be advanced socially, without any special effort on your part
• Fields of sunshine bloom as the midnight in her dress falls away, replaced by moonlight.
• By morning I will have erased all traces that I was ever a bear
• judge a captain not by his shipwrecks, but by whether or not he blames the sea
• You will suffer long term physiological damage if you swallow that gum!
• You will know me by those colors, deep and bold, of the heart you never knew.
• Suicide is punishable by resurrection. There will be no exceptions.
• You Better Watch Out, or the Insects Will Get You
• Our way or the highway
• I can only pray that, when I finally leave, I will have done little enough damage to be totally forgotten
• And if terrorists wanted to communicate secretly, mightn't they just do so by collaborating on a 'draft' here at e2? Can the NSA check on our drafts? Who knows? Inquiring minds want to know, Jay!
• By morning I will have erased all traces that I was ever here
• If by Dull Rhymes our English must be Chain'd
• Get off my lawn or I will grab that vacuum cleaner on your porch and set you on fire
• The Lord of the Rings IV: Stop or my Gollum will Shoot!
• The die is cast, you will cut the mustard or face the music
• Your Cause is Our Cause, and Any Cause is a Good Cause (e2poll)
• socketes matures during 4 14 years. - reflections upon an obscure Dadaist genius in our midst; or, how I learned to stop worrying and love the troll.
• assume the Party Escort Submission Position or you will miss the party
• Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot!
• I do not function as part of a machine and therefore by any proper definition I simply do not function at all
• Foam on the tide is no more or less real than the sea, it simply is, was, will be
• Just Yes Or No Will Do
• Strange man makes permanent visit
• Maybe when we drown the fish will be our friends
• Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him
• Our stories will surprise even our selves.
• We Regret to Inform You That Tomorrow We Will Be Killed with Our Families
• and we will walk till our feet ache
• the world will be remade in our image
• Our love is eternal. The night will end. The dragon is forever. Good will prevail. Mother sits on her throne.
• The winter chill reminds those of us closer to our end than our beginning that maybe, just maybe, safety isn't the primary goal in a life that will certainly end in death.
• and our dreams will break the boundaries of our fears
• if we are to be lies, we will be lies of our own making
• It will only make our insides burn until we are nothing but ash.
• make it two-ply, or I will gut you
• I was discovered by scientists, what will they call me?
• Is there any part of you that really wants this? Or is the pursuit like breathing to you?
• any
• Press any key to continue
• Cats are far smarter than any other animal I know
• The tattoo phenomenon
• Tips for the first day of any college course
• Any sufficiently advanced music is indistinguishable from MIDI
• "42" is even to any base
• Do not, under any circumstances, touch this button
• It doesn't get any better than this
• Any Time, Any Place, Anywhere
• Christianity has caused more war throughout the ages than any other cause
• I just won "ANY BREAKFAST BAGEL SANDWICH" at McDonald's!
• Any woman who thinks she is pro-life should ask herself
• Just when you get really good at something, you don't need to do it any more
• If you are already walking impaired, take care when consuming drugs of any kind
• In any art, boredom is not a virtue
• Pick a nose, any nose : Cosmetic Surgery in society
• Love In Any Language
• Any time! Anywhere!
• Does war have any redeeming features?
• We're not hitch-hiking any more... we're RIDING!
• At least things can't get any worse
• Any sufficiently nice person is indistinguishable from someone who likes you
• Lil Kid any werrr (user)
• This is Saturday. We're not getting any older.
• When time travel in science fiction just doesn't make any sense
• How to lose your temper, your job and any last traces of respect for Management
• Win any argument with a rational person (not recommended)
• How to learn any skateboarding trick
• I climbed the stairs behind him, without any reason to follow
• Any sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from technology
• Now I ask you, is that any way for a cosmic body to disintegrate?
• Advantaging all without disadvantaging any
• Never trust a machine more complex than a knife and fork
• Got any ID please?
• Opening a command prompt in Windows
• Any function can be represented as the sum of an even function and an odd one
• As any fool can plainly see
• The Story of Augustus who not have any Soup
• Any port in a storm
• Gym equipment
• Just when scratch pads couldn't get any better... (document)
• Why aren't there any female Jedi?
• It Doesn't Matter Any More
• I can break into any Ford Expedition in an hour
• How to turn any number into a 9
• More numbers begin with 1 than with any other digit
• The terrorists have already won "ANY BREAKFAST BAGEL SANDWICH" at McDonald's!
• Any time is Trinidad time
• Convert any number to decimal
• To a beautiful woman without any ketchup
• In four dimensions, any closed loop of one-dimensional string is equivalent to an unknot.
• if i'm right, you'll be here to read this any day now

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