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My eyes are somewhat unusual, at least from what I've seen. They are greyish-green, with a strange little circle of orange ringing my pupils. Since I was old enough to have boyfriends, I have sat across from them in booth seats in cheap restaurants, feet kicking, hands fidgeting, eyes shut tight, and asked, "What color are my eyes?"

Somehow I thought that guys were taught by their fathers to respond to this question in a very serious and flattering manner, always including the words limpid, beautiful, and pools. I felt for whatever reason that this question was very grave, and if the boy was wrong, that he must not love me. The worst was to be told brown, because my eyes are light, and this told me that the boy in question was not the one for me. He obviously did not think I was all that great if he couldn't remember (or worse, didn't know) what color my eyes were.

I have never been satisfied by any answer that I have been given. I have been told green, grey, hazel, brown, blue, dunno, trout, and most recently, wooden. Wooden is only an acceptable response because it comes from someone I love and accept, and because it makes no sense. My strange attachment of meaning to a question also makes no sense. It took a long time to realize that, but still I take offense to the wrong answer. I suppose it's a point of vanity for me.
Oh, no! Not The Question!

Wait a second, I wrote down the answer on a tiny scrap of paper...

...but left it in my other pair of trousers.

Which reply would you like to hear?

  • Blue. Umm, no, I mean orange!
  • Ooops! I just spilled your glass of orange juice all over myself!
  • Ooops! I just spilled my glass of water all over you!
  • Beautiful!
  • or maybe I should just sneak out, since your eyes are closed...
This reminds me of the Wonderbra billboard that has a picture of Sophie Falkiner (current Wonderbra model, and one highly sexy-seductive chick) in her lingerie and the writing that says:

by the way,
my eyes are blue.


Right. As if anyone was looking at her eyes ... There's a similar billboard with Sophie Falkiner on it again, this time saying:

I can't cook.
Who cares ...


And yes, thank you Wonderbra marketing and advertising department ... I dedicate this node to you.

yay, after a couple of weeks of looking at the first billboard on the way to work I did notice that her eyes were indeed blue ...

When I get asked this I think...

  1. I don't care what colour your eyes are.
  2. I don't love you for the pigment in your irises.
  3. Thanks for assuming I am that shallow.
...then I answer the question because...
  1. I know it's important to you.
  2. I care about your feelings.
  3. I am that shallow.

"why are you looking at me like that?"

"Your eyes..."

"yes?"

"what colour are they?"

weird twist, him asking me what colour MY eyes were.

"i dunno...what colour are my eyes?"

no use asking him what colour his are...brown. Beautiful.

-thinking face for him-

wait for it he's going to say somthing romantic!

"what colour is cement?"

dumbstruck

"cement? my eyes are the colour of cement?"

"yeah..."

"try again"

-thinking face for him-

"you see that palm tree over there.."

"yes"

"see its trunk?"

"yes...cement was a better answer"

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