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There's a guy I work with named Brendan. He's overly happy and likes to bounce around the office, grunting and shouting "Hooah!" (pronounced just as its spelled.) He's totally out of control, even resorting to swinging the office door open wildly whenever he comes in like Kramer from Seinfeld.

Whenever something goes wrong in the office, we can always count on him to shout "Cool!" and retain his Sesame Street-like happy mask. He's the happiness in an otherwise bleak and dreary MIS world.

I've found the secret to his happiness, however. Fondue. Brendan holds regular fondue parties at his house in California. However, these aren't your typical fondue parties. These are fondue orgies.

I've heard rumors of people covering themselves in hot chocolate sauce, dipping various things on each other, then eating them. And afterwards, after the chocolate gets all hard and crispy, they apply the hot oil and proceed to make hot chocolate love 'till the sun comes up. Aww yeeeah...

However, he can never know that I know this. Doing so could likely destroy the very essence that is Brendan and our office would quickly become a cesspool from the tenth level of hell. Mmm... fondue orgies...

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