Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "What the fuck does that even mean, I don't have favorite spookypastas, reading is for chumps!"

• You make yourself lonely even though you don't have to
• i am a seedling. i don't even understand how much i have yet to learn.
• Ernie and Bert are not gay. They're puppets. They don't even have legs.
• I don't even have the energy to kill myself
• "Of course humans aren't intelligent. They don't even have glurbleflukers. If you can't glurblefluke, you're not sentient."
• You don't even have a chance of being happy if you can't let shit go.
• Just because you both have the same problem does not mean you are one another's solution
• When you know things are just meant to be
• A lot of houses don't even have anyone to board them up.
• I am a teacher, and I don't know what your pancreas does
• I don't know how the fuck you can sleep at night
• Don't feel comfortable with girls? Have a daughter.
• Things that people do more over and over that I haven't even done once
• Because the weather is always beautiful, they don't even know that storms can be beautiful too.
• My soul is in a million pieces. I tried to collect most of them, but some are missing, and the ones I have don't fit together anymore. Feel free to take a piece or two.
• Badgers? We ain't got no badgers. We don't need no badgers. I don't have to show you any stinking badgers!
• Thank god I don't have to make my living passing out bogus petitions
• Does pain mean danger?
• you don't have to erase it, you just have to let it go
• You haven't seen it and you don't understand. I have malice. I have cruelty. The little fire that's always been inside me isn't so little anymore.
• A reason to drink
• I don't even know when I am being sarcastic anymore
• When you have a trip planned, but don't go, you need to cancel your reservations
• You don't have any real problems
• Reason #57 Why I Don't Have Children
• So you don't have to
• If they can get you asking the wrong questions, they don't have to worry about answers.
• Working does not mean thinking
• I don't even badly want what I've been taking. It's just been there.
• Morrison's Lament
• Even the tides have more friends than you
• you don't have to do this
• My finger can point to the moon, but my finger is not the moon. You don't have to become my finger, nor do you have to worship my finger. You have to forget my finger, and look at where it is pointing.
• I don't have a thing to wear!
• Does the sun have a mother?
• Low self-esteem is actually one of the most self-centered acts; not unlike suicide
• Cats don't have brakes
• Dogs are for wimps who don't have the guts to bite people themselves
• You don't know what you have until it's gone
• The US does NOT have Freedom of Speech
• I have dreadlocks and I don't know where the pot is
• E2 FAQ: Why Don't I Have Votes Today? (node_forward)
• Books Hazelnut Read So You Don't Have To (category)
• Why don't I have votes today?
• The best part about you is that you don't even know how great you are
• I don't have the time
• Take it til you make it, break it if you have to, but don't ever fake it.
• We don't have time. Not like they do.
• Why don't urinals have stalls?
• Even a Doll Can Seem To Have a Soul
• Even inanimate objects have a sort of life and legacy
• You don't even know the meaning of the word committed. I'm Andy Kaufman, motherfucker. I will die on this hill I made, in this battle I started, for this prize I already own.
• To Him the law is everything. Even today, lawyers are His favorites.
• Just because she's nice to you doesn't mean she wants to fuck you
• People have fucked up before
• when even the plants have abandoned me
• you don't have to eat your dinner but you pay for your plate
• they still come to me even though i don't come to them
• Being a romantic does not mean you are good at romance
• Baptist fear of dancing
• what does it mean?
• I don't have a problem with Christians, it's Biblical Literalism I can't stand
• Do not have sex with horses. Seriously, don't.
• And that's why we don't have sex in the nose
• Does "All Natural" mean "No Side Effects"?
• Stoned music memories
• I have a punklin and you don't
• I don't want to risk endangering the cheap, meaningless sex we have
• What does it mean to be religious?
• You don't have to be a vegetarian to like vegetarian food
• I don't have a postmodern condition; I've always been like this
• I still don't even know you
• I don't know what Christmas means anymore
• The fact that you don't understand this doesn't mean it isn't art
• Living well is only the best revenge if they don't have a fuckable sibling
• Don't fuck the corpses
• The mighty have fallen, and I don't feel too good myself
• I enjoy slacking. Does that mean I'm going to Hell?
• And I don't even know their names
• i call my phone and i check my messages, but i don't have any messages
• WE DON'T HAVE STARBUCKS ASSHOLE
• I don't have a soul. But something still hurts.
• Even if You Don't
• Biological does not mean genetic
• Songs Hazelnut Listened To So You Don't Have To
• The fact that you don't understand this doesn't mean arse
• The ones with their priorities straight don't know how to get what they want, and the ones who get what they want have messed up priorities.
• Does X have the Buddha nature?
• We don't have time for this. None of us have time for any of this.
• Windows 9x does not have true memory protection
• i don't hate you. not even a little
• You don't have to catch me. You don't need to bring me back.
• She Looked Slutty. I Don't Mean That in a Bad Way.
• If you don't know how to make a mu, you have no business measuring quantities that small.
• We don't have what we need because we can't stop wanting
• Humans have six senses, why does everyone think we only have five?
• Even God doesn't have the right to utterly destroy children
• fuck it, I love you even if I'm gonna feel like shit
• Does the Universe have granularity?
• Wouldn't it suck to be God's mom and not even get laid in the deal?
• i always want to go back. but i don't know if it's time yet. i have some things i have to do.
• but fuck, it was Sunday and the church bells hadn't even called the faithful
• Everything I have told you, even this, is a lie
• i cannot ever have you, not even in thoughts.
• When you call a girl beautiful, what does it mean?
• They have a trendy name for every different kind of fucked up.
• i cant ever have you, even in my mind.
• We can't even sort out the space between people, we have no business building rockets.
• just because you don't doesn't mean you can't
• Does back pain mean a disc?
• What RU-486 means to me
• Wearing nice underpants does not necessarily mean it's a date
• A sad reminder that just because you are floating does not mean you are rising
• What does it mean to be free?
• We read your mail so you don't have to
• You are looking for someone who does not want to be found. Even if you find them it will not be a success.
• I keep thinking I'm so tough but I rarely care enough to prove it. So am I really tough then? Or does every dog just have its day?
• Baptist jokes
• Don't fuck llamas
• Saying what you don't mean
• Is the lock broke, or does everyone have a key?
• It Don't Mean a Thing (If It Ain't Got That Swing)
• Being solicited for sex by people who don't even know your gender
• Words that don't mean the same as they used to
• Does war have any redeeming features?
• Don't meddle in that which you have no desire to understand
• I don't have a problem with Biblical Literalism, it's Christians I can't stand
• Look, I don't mean to be an asshole or anything, but...
• I don't have a television set
• I have a Shaymus and you don't.
• If you don't have anything to say, don't say anything
• Archived E2 FAQ: Why Don't I Have Votes Today? (document)
• Girls who go home with you when they don't even know your name
• Art has an actual purpose
• You don't always have to disagree, or agree for that matter
• And if you don't look too closely, you won't even notice the cockroach
• Well, when the president does it that means that it is not illegal.
• Roman Catholic theology of a cloned human's soul
• I don't have a life; Everyone else wants to live my life for me
• You don't have to remember my name
• 2001: Why don't we have HAL?
• I'm angry, and tired, and sad, and I just don't want to deal with it right now, so fuck off
• I Don't Need to Have Children, I Date Them
• It don't mean anything moves
• Relax. Don't worry. Have a homebrew.
• How does the Military Selective Service Act apply to individuals who have had a sex change?
• If you don't play pinochle, you must have married in
• You're a poet and you don't even know it
• I don't think she even knows that I make her smile
• If I don't care, I don't have to hurt
• Guys who don't tell you they have a girlfriend
• Jesus loves you so I don't have to
• what is this i don't even
• No, I don't have channel 11
• NCC
• or maybe a calm voice, that accent you don't think you have
• Dogs don't have souls, so it doesn't matter
• Eating one cheeseburger does not mean an agreement to eat five
• if you don't have anything nice to say, a rose still smells as sweet
• I am letting myself down so you don't have to
• Don't ever lie. If you lie to your friends, they won't trust you, and you'll have nothing, and you'll never be safe.
• You have to consider the possibility that God does not like you
• We don't swim in yer toilet, so don't fuck us over or you'll need 2 wheelchairs, fool: An Partie
• I don't have any secrets. Now ask me if I have any lies.
• Does Molly Weasley have to choke a bitch?
• Wherefore does not mean where
• Does Everything2 have the Buddha nature?
• I'm scared. I don't have a name.
• Does a computer have a Buddha nature?
• Don't fuck with the cat
• You Don't Have To Say You Love Me
• This land does not have three hundred taels of silver!

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