Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "When he removed his stilton sword from my fart valve, he was pleasantly surprised to see a toilet twinkie staring back as him. He knew I couldn't wait to lap the colon cobra off his ample cock."

• When he was five, his father made him murder his imaginary friend.
• When he was little, he laughed in his sleep.
• I'm the only person who'd ever told him to his face he was beautiful.
• He had a prison of brass built in the hole, and then, when it was finished, he locked up his daughter
• Amakuni once drew an old sword of his from a box, suddenly overjoyed by something he had cast aside.
• I knew enough about him to know his name and what kind of snowball he could make
• All the while he was talking she was thinking what his whiskers would feel like on the back of her neck
• As I looked back, he was reveling in his own feces
• She doesn't know what he sees, but sometimes it makes his face beautiful
• If a frog had wings, he wouldn't kick his tail when he jumped
• His memory perishes from the earth, and he has no name in the street.
• He stretched out his arms but she was not there
• Of King Sigmund's last battle, and of how he must yield up his sword again
• "I see," said the blind man to his deaf wife as he picked up his hammer and saw
• He began to learn that waste flows downstream. Imagine his surprise.
• So I was balls deep in the guy's ass that night when he turns to me and asks for a kiss. Damn. What a fag.
• he is too shy to write his tale
• As the band laughed, her finger traced his spine, and he folded into her
• He wakes up everyday, puts an empty gun in his mouth, and pulls the trigger.
• He was there, and then he wasn't, and with him went those memories
• I don't know where he gets his words but I like them
• mr. T pities the fool regardless of whether he is wearing his seatbelt
• He made a way to his anger
• In the end, he could quiet his mind only by dying
• It was late when he came home; it woke you up
• He found a liquid cure for his landlocked blues
• It's easier to kick a praying man, because he's on his knees already
• Meanwhile, the PILOT, who has been laughing hysterically through the entire sequence, finally loses it. He falls out of his chair and bangs his head against the panel, causing the ship to lose control and crash into a nearby planet
• He will have the taste of warm ripe fruit in his mouth
• I kicked the Martian in his otherworldly balls, and he screamed like the solar wind howling through a planetary magnetosphere
• He was confirming to himself that they were laughing with him after all
• To me he is a daisy and I keep trying to count his petals
• How the Old Woman Took Care Of Candide, and How He Found the Object of His Love
• He just left his body
• I'm not HIS sister; he's MY brother
• When I was 21, he was building a Time Machine
• He Had Not Where To Lay His Head
• Jesus said, "I love him, for he is my brother." He was talking about everyone.
• He's dead, Jim. You grab his wallet, I'll grab his tricorder.
• He Would Close His Eyes, and the World Would Burn.
• Zip him back up, he sucks.
• He lived in southern California with his tanned, powdered mother
• Oedipus-Schmedipus, as long as he loves his mother
• I married him because he was not mean
• He's a feminist. He tells that to all his mistresses.
• He is honest and forthright with strangers. He reserves his lies for his family
• He weaves his words
• why is the great man great? he keeps on running through a world of his own.
• judge a captain not by his shipwrecks, but by whether or not he blames the sea
• He who does not forget his first love will not recognize his last
• The Marlboro Man died of cancer, but he wasn't a rocket scientist when he was healthy, ha ha ha.
• I saved his life. He does not know it.
• He throws his heart down like a gauntlet
• How many times has God twiddled his thumbs before he put vertebrates on the Earth?
• So he's dressed a little differently and he has a halo-like light above his head.
• The class valedictorian was still tripping balls when he was bailed out in time to give the commencement speech at graduation
• He flops over and bonks his head
• He made me promise I would do this when I was next sad. So I promised myself I would not be sad again.
• He Died with a Felafel in His Hand
• I should ask my barber where he gets his hair cut, then go there and slowly make my way up the chain
• He tells me that I could have his heart and I want to take it right then, slip it into my pocket and run
• Mr. Lunch liked to chase birds. In fact, he was a professional.
• I don't know what he was listening for, but he wasn't listening
• It was 1992. He smiled.
• Is it fair for him to love me when she craves his touch?
• got to be good looking cause he's so hard to see
• he looks hurt from behind that eye patch, the choker, the bare chest
• When the principal laughs so hard he can't suspend you
• Tom, He was a Piper's Son
• A man who never sees a pretty girl without loving her a little
• Wheresoever he went, there was Eden
• At least he was gentle
• The promise of life. This he stole from himself as well.
• He wasn't programmed to be a tenor, he was programmed to be a physician!
• He comforted me when he thought I needed it, but never when I really did
• The Last Thing He Expected to Happen to Him in Hollywood
• All he left her was alone
• "He was a terrible man," she sobbed, between bites of alimony
• As if he knew that words were how I kissed
• he listened so well, he was still curious.
• He forgets I am my own fierceness; it's not for him
• Then again, maybe he was recruiting for a cult
• 'twas the telltale tink-tock of marionettes, he felt certain, that jingle-jangled from behind her shower curtain
• He is so heavy when he whispers
• When Chopin finished a piece he stopped writing it
• He said 'tentacle porn', so I stuck my dick in a toaster and went from there
• The Abridged Edition: She was to one side, he was to the other, an untested bridge between them
• I think he only loves the world for him.
• When he grins it is a thousand-word story
• From the brightness before Him passed His thick clouds
• She calls him Sugarcane. He calls her Hurricane.
• I met him two days ago and now he wants to fly me to Peru
• She didn't write like Emily Dickinson, but she did live in a house overlooking a cemetery, and I guess he thought that was important.
• The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist
• An ocean away and here he was, seeping into her
• he did not look back. he walked slowly. he might stop at any time.
• He dreamt he was a bulldozer, she dreamt she was alone in an empty bed
• Now he dances to bring her back.
• He Was a Crook
• She had become a mutton for punishment and he was a wolf
• I'm up, he sees me, I'm down
• He was an ant on an ill-defined mission. She was the trapdoor spider of love.
• I wanted to see how many times he wouldn't ask.
• The Trial: Andrew Johnson was not guilty of the crimes for which he was impeached.
• The one he murdered once still loves him
• Let's shoot Cupid, see how he likes it
• I killed him today, he who does not exist
• They will love him long after he is gone.
• My friend is dating someone who likes him far more than he likes her
• St. Lucia in This Guy When He Died, Man
• when you reflect that john now knows how he's going to die.
• He Was Only Joking
• he was a punk poet himself
• he knew that victory is not about who is standing after the fight
• He was a man stuck between the objective and the subjective
• I thought he was a man but he was just a little boy
• Once there was a bug in a hole that he dug
• making certain he was touching her
• he was alive, and some of the other people, they were carbon copies
• he can find a cure for us, if we help him
• what he carried from here to Okinawa
• In a quiet grove of pines under a frosty sky, he helped her out of the sack. She wore severe white hospital pajamas and was beautiful.
• Donald Duck was banned in Finland because he doesn't wear pants
• I cried when he threw away the paper towel on top of the microwave
• It's not so much that I like him as a person God, but as a boy he's very handsome
• He thinks a path and travels the emptiness that was there
• He backed the verbal car into the garage, only to crash it into the wall
• He was the kind of man who shacked up for shelter
• When he became an old man
• Some nights, alone, he thinks of her, and some nights, alone, she thinks of him
• What's Hecuba to him, or he to Hecuba, that he should weep for her?
• He was born with the gift of logic but the inability to use it
• he gives rest unto him who comes at the eleventh hour
• She grew a little older, while he was telling her
• Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them.
• When a man lies he murders some part of the world
• Don't believe the florist when he tells you that the roses are free.
• He was like the bottle of Champagne Krug
• The girl didn't know if she was loved until he said yes.
• He who has ears, let him hear
• He said I'm better off without you, 'til I showed him my tattoo
• She was coming out as he was going in.
• And we killed him and he's dead.
• I never met him. He broke my heart.
• Why would he want a writer when he could have a dancer?
• She couldn't imagine that he liked dancing
• Call me back when hair starts growing on his palms
• He cries for me, all these years later. He'll never stop 'til I join him in the grave.
• He had fallen in love, but I'm pretty sure the hellhound was only in it for the belly rubs
• More than he was willing to give
• some say he was never here at all
• Shaymus is older than I thought he was
• If he's late, you can always start without him
• How Candide Was Brought Up in a Magnificent Castle and How He Was Driven Thence
• That's Just How He Was
• If he means to kidnap you, sorry for ruining the surprise
• He was hard in all the wrong places
• I will fucking REMOVE your writeups about Cloud Strife and how he's cool and mysterious and shit
• He was found
• He Waits
• He learned to dance from emus but he learned to love from seraphim
• He never looked back
• he/she
• He
• Meditation V: Of the Essence of Material Things, and, again, of God, that he Exists
• For my father, in the event he finds me
• God can create a stone so heavy even he can't lift it
• He not busy being born is busy dying
• if a bird is never free from his cage, then his world is only his name
• He said, expecting the answer no
• he who (user)
• A man is known by the company he keeps.
• s/he
• He is radical and funky fresh!

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