When you think life is about to give you a lemon just remember that your brain is nothing but a bunch of electrical impulses and you are an insignifigant speck in the greater scheme of things. Once you realize this you can try and get on with your pointless existance in the universe as a retarded human who's contributing to the eventual destruction of their entire race. :)

This works alot better if you're so bi-polar that you can't even stand yourself anymore. :)
When life gives you lemons:

  1. Take a length of PVC pipe, about three feet long.
  2. Find a high powered air compresser
  3. Devise a loading mechanism. I reccomend muzzle loading, mortar style
  4. Devise a trigger mechanism. Many air compressers allow air to be stored in a canister to be released later, these work best when modified for large volumes of air.
  5. Finally, go hunt down the bastards that gave you these crappy lemons.
Note: I don't condone unlicensed lemon-guns.
Capitalist viewpoint:
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade and sell it back at a higher price to the jerks who sold you lemons.

Communist viewpoint:
When life gives you lemons, Give 'em to everybody else.

--OutpostMir--'s viewpoint:
When life gives you lemons, slice 'em up and use them to flavor your coca-nuts.

An alcoholic's viewpoint (cudos to HamsterMan):
When life gives you lemons, find a gin and tonic.

I can't believe you're reading this footnote!
One of my favorite quotes of Henry Rollins from one of his spoken word CD's:

...you know when people tell you 'when life hands you lemons, make lemonade' I tell em, 'yeah, I like lemons, what else have you got?'...

Here's another one...

...years later, we all graduated high school in 1979...and everyone got to take out a quarter page from the yearbook..you get a quarter page when you're a senior....on mine it said, Future plans: nationwide terrorization. And then, I ripped off Nugent and had :symptoms, terminal gonzolitis. And I bet I'm one of the only people who graduated from that fucking class who KEPT HIS PROMISE...

Ok, so maybe it doesn't have much to do with lemons. But I think Rollins has the right idea about what to do when life hands you lemons over and over. You just keep going.

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