It's dark in here.
Aaagh. There's a light in my eye.
A man can be seen faintly behind the light.
“Now, we can do this the easy way, or the hard way,” he said.
“Uh...” I replied. “How about a hasy way? Or an eard way?”
“Those two were abolished in 1962, I do believe.”
“Okay, then...I guess I have no choice.”
The interrogator shook his head. “Yes, you do. The easy way, or the hard way.”
“How are they different?”
Awkward silence.
“Now you're just playing stupid, the interrogator intoned, glaring at me.
“Stupid? Not possible. That game's been off the shelves for six years!”
“Oh, yeah, that's right―they designed a new one called Imbecile, which is what you're acting like right now!”
“Touché.”
“So. The easy way, or the hard way?”
“If I take the hard way, do I get a bigger reward?”
“More jail time,” shrugged the interrogator.
“The easy way, then.”
“All right. Go on.”
...
“Go on with what?”
“Why do you think you're in this room?”
“Because a big scary guy wearing a uniform brought me here.”
“Why do you think he brought you here?”
“So you could ask me questions?”
“Why do you think I'm asking you questions?”
“Because...uh...I dunno. Why?”
The interrogator slammed his hands on the table.
“Because you committed a crime! And now I want you to tell the truth, regarding said crime! Now!”
“Fine! It was me who stole that electric shaver from The Sharper Image!”
...
“A shaver?”
“Yeah, from The Sharper Image! They always make the coolest stuff.”
...
He turned to the people behind the glass wall.
“Wrong guy, people. This ain't our murderer.”
I stood up and shook his hand. He said, “You're free to go. Sorry for the inconvenience.”
“No problem. Mix-ups happen.”
I went to the door and was just about to grab the handle when―
“Wait. You stole a shaver?”
...
“No.”
Through gritted teeth: “Sit back down.”