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So my Uncle Cue, who is not really my uncle, but my dad's college drinking buddy came to visit from West Virginia. He had won these 2 cases of wine from a West Virginia vineyard, an entire 24 bottles of it, a Merlot, in a poker game. In a gesture of largess and state boosterism, Uncle Cue gave us one full case.

With some eagerness to brag that I had discovered this hidden gem of the mountain state, complete with amusing anecdote, I poured the first glass. I carefully swirled it, taking in the nose, then sipped.

It was, without condition or qualification, the worst fucking glass of wine I've ever had.

How to describe it? The body of summer camp kool aid, with the battery acid bite of vinegar and rust. An eyewatering nose, like a citrus air freshener. Then a long, epic length extended-dance-remix long aftertaste of such bitterness that it was like biting on aluminum foil.

My dad tried it, and with very little debate we poured all of it out in the back yard as we were worried that sending it down the drain may hurt the bacteria in the septic tank. In retrospect, I wish I had kept all of it a ready reserve revenge gift and active component of my West Virginia psywar disinformation campaign.

Wow, was it bad!

my very first nodeshell rescue!

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