After you'd gone
I cried for a week
I wanted to give you a fitting send off
something romantic and passionate like you
Burials are so naff
with hearses and priests
I knew you'd hate all that
You'd want to go out like a Viking warrior
or Mrs Gandhi by the side of the Ganghes
Clearly cremation was the only way to go
but a longboat was too long for the garden
and a pyre's fire might spread to the garage
so I sliced and then diced you
seared you over a hot flame
on the barbecue
It was so beautiful I cried some more
Afterwards the neighbours came round
and the police